REDMOND, WA - In a press release Monday Microsoft announced it's plans to patent personal taste. Early rumors of such a move were denied by the software giant but they have now made it official.
"We feel this is the best move we can make for our customers at this point" reports Steve Balmer, CEO, "It will allow us to offer exactly what the consumer wants at a significantly absorbitant price."
Industry analysts say this will revolutionize the global market. "By owning your preference to PB and J over tuna, Microsoft can offer a superior product. It will be able to leverage it's knowledge to become a true fascist regime." says Professor John Paydooff from the University of Washington's Computer Science Department. "The initial licensing models that Microsoft is considering will allow you, as an individual, to purchase your preference for blondes over brunettes for a nominal annual fee. If you decide you no longer want that service, you are free to let your subscription run out at the end of the year."
Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and Technical director was not available for comment but he is quoted in the press release as saying "By offering a subscription based service we are offering extreme value. Before, if you liked tuna, you were stuck with tuna. Now, if you decide tuna isn't for you, you can switch to bologna with no hassle whatsoever."
Dubya, upon learning of the new shift in economic idealogy at Microsoft, reportedly exclaimed "Cool, Dude.. now go get me a tuna salad sandwich..."
"....No, wait. Get me a salami on rye. HHahahahaha"
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the guys: philogynist jaime tony - the gals:raymi raspil
