This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License.                             the guys: philogynist jaime tony - the gals:raymi raspil


Michael considered fate at 17:42   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
It's raining again here in the port city. It ain't cats or dogs or men or even skittles, it's just plain old rain. So much so that we've surpassed even the north west in our rainy rainingness. The port city has received more rain this spring than anywhere else in the country. Although we set a high temperature record of 85 on the 20th, April was the 3rd wettest April on record (kept since 1871) with a total of 8.72 inches of rain. In fact it rained nine out of the last 11 days of the month.

That's a lotta rain.

So far May hasn't been much better with over 20 days of rain this month. The forecast calls for more rain on my birthday tomorrow, the last day of the month. The April showers have brought.. well.. just more showers. We're still waiting for the flowers.

Hopefully this means mother nature has gotten things out of her system and we're staring down the beginning of what will prove to be one of the most beautiful summers in the history of the universe for Portland, ME 04101. But maybe that's wishful thinking.

However, Santa Barbara will no doubt have plenty of sun for me in a few weeks. I'm taking a quick unexpected trip that I couldn't really say no to since it was a free plane ticket. Why the hell not?

Hopefully I'll get to see for myself if UCSB really should be ranked in the top 10 most beautiful students schools.. hopefully the summer session will have retained some of those hotties since where else would you want to spend a summer studying blue skies and long long beaches and how small thongs have gotten this year?

I think they've gotten pretty small.

When I get back from the land of Austrian gub'nahs I'm going to take a brief respite and then head on down the coast to a wedding, catch a red sox game, and then continue on down the coast, through rhode island, and end up on the Connecticutt seashore where you'd be surprised at those yuppies - they aren't all bad. Granted it's eastern connecticutt so what the hell do I know? I'll be sitting on the porch of a beach house up on a bluff overlooking a scene of sailboats, ocean, and seabirds making their seabird sounds.

When all of that fun is done and over with I'm jumping a plane to Jamaica for yet another wedding. Four days in the sun on the beaches with more clear blue skies and more waves and probably even bluer ocean waters. I hear they have some killer weed, too.

By the time I stumble back into my summertime rent-a-basement here in the port city the sun will probably be all but petered out and just as I get settled in for a long July and August with my motorcycle purring under me and the hot air breezing by me taking the sweat off my skin, it'll start to rain.

And we'll have one of the wettest Julys and Augusts on record.

Or not.


Michael considered fate at 15:17   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
A different take on the Apple/Sirius "talks":
Apple's music delivery solution bests Sirius' so integrating satellite radio into the iPod is unlikely to happen. So what's left? In two words, "original content." Sirius has been negotiating contracts with key content providers such as popular radio personalities like Howard Stern and also has exclusive professional sports broadcasting contracts. This is where they have room to negotiate.

Steve Jobs went on record earlier this week to say that podcasting is going to be playing a larger role within iTunes and the iTunes music store. Contrary to popular opinion, podcasting doesn't only have to be specific to amateur broadcasters. The same technology that entitles amateur broadcasters to make their voices heard to a large audience can just as easily be applied to professionals. I believe this is what Sirius and Apple were more likely discussing.


Michael considered fate at 00:54   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
"the problem is i sleep with my friends and im friends with the people i want to sleep with."

(i was so high, i could have stacked one brutal, personal truth on top of another, pleasant as pancakes.)

"hmmm. maybe it's cuz you're dyslexic," she offered.

I have a way with getting myself into situations I want to be in, just at the completely wrong time. Wrong because it's not going to work out the way I wanted it to and so I'll just get whiny in the end. Wrong because, while the future may be hard to predict, it's at least easy enough to stick your head out the window of the now-bus that you are riding, careening down a mountain pass, and take a look up ahead half a mile or so. So I know from the start it's disaster waiting to happen, I guess.

Or I tell myself it is.

Crushing self-confidence or complete lack of self-esteem, I wonder? Sometimes you can be too big for the pedestal everyone is trying to balance you on and you just end up falling off, you know. You're nobody if not your own worst enemy. Try standing on your head for awhile and telling me otherwise.

Intellect - not any extreme case of it, but just the normal stuff we have floating around in the human species - is the stuff of stars. Intellect is the stuff of complete and pure genius because without it we wouldn't have the theory of relativity, we wouldn't have charm quarks, we wouldn't even have television, for christ sake. And then, somewhere, somehow, a switch is thrown, a light burns out, a spark - ouch, my finger - and the universe shuts down like some giant vending machine, some old 70's style tv in an airport lounge that runs off quarters flickering off, the tube slowly fading to black. I ain't talking about the ideas of things here, I'm talking about the things themselves. If you can't think up television, if you can't think up the proton, if you don't comprehend life then it doesn't really exist.... right?

relatively speaking. i mean, for you. questionably so for others.

Yet somehow the things we choose to believe in include choices like blackholes, viagra, and AIDS. Explain that. We choose to believe that world hunger is an epidemic - of course! we tell ourselves, epidemic sounds so unsolvable and, well, with this label we don't have to feel too badly about our lack of effort. Hunger is no more an epidemic than hair growth and stinky armpits.

We choose to believe in civil rights for prisoners, the death penalty, and pro-life all at the same time while we puff on our cigarettes outside the courthouse; "guilty? nah, just dysfunctional." Our judicial system has roundly rejected the idea that individual humans beings are capable of wrongdoing: it's society's fault. This is perhaps the squarest logic I've yet heard.


For each shoplifter calling in sick, for every rapest satisfying their deviant need, for every rich old man shuffling off his mortal coil while the other one - the one that should be plugged into the wall - is held by his smiling grandson, for every religious fanatic who throws a rotten fruit on the doorstep of their neighbour, for every insurance company executive that goes home at the end of the day and doesn't kiss his kids goodnight, for every politician who thinks in his own best interest, for every country that draws an artificial representation of space and call it a map and then draw an artificial line on that map and call it a border and for every country that crosses that border that they have drawn,

for every one of these parts there is a group made from them, call it government, institution, corporation, cult, or following. There is a group made from these parts. That being said the milk makes the maid for, if there were no milking to be done, would there be maids?

That's a roundabout way of blaming myself for creating the lousy situations I've (knowingly and wantingly) placed myself in which I would have done better to avoid and also a way of legitimizing my cursing of lost opportunity when I have finally cleared myself from the situation.

Or in other words, I know from the start life is a disaster waiting to happen. Or I tell myself it is. Anything less and I'd be shoplifting in Shaw's, believing wholeheartedly that all was a competition and that survival - fittest or not - was bound to favour the guy with more candybars in his pocket.


Michael considered fate at 10:20   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Here's something (Slashdot) I bet will make tony horny:
Sirius Satellite Radio announced they're in talks with Apple with everyone including makers of cell phones, digital music players and other devices to try and bring satellite radio to the iPod a portable mp3 player. CEO Mel Karmazin had a meeting a dinner date on Monday with Steve Jobs with a number of digital entertainment-related executives and he says the technology is the easy part. The hard part? Deciding how to split up the revenue, of course.
Sirius most likely can't afford to give away too much of it's $12.95 monthly subscription fees in a hardware contract deal and still stay afloat. And so far? No Deal. Of course Karmazin assures his stockholders, "If we don't do a deal, our current business plan is just fine." Good thing, cause there doesn't seem to be any iPods with iNttennas on them on the horizon.

The injection of Apple specific rumoring in this story seems to be highly wishful as Steve Jobs wasn't interested back in February. He stated then that he felt consumers are content for now with the ability to download thousands of songs. At that time he reportedly told Karmazin that he might change his tune, no pun intended, if more interesting content were made available on satellite radio.

I can't imagine Jobs likes Karmazin's big mouth, either, as we all know Apple has a "loose lips sink ships" attitude; they like to surprise us on our birthday, not tell us what we're getting months ahead of time.

Personally? I can't imagine I'd ever get a satellite radio subscription as things stand right now but I can certainly say I'd be far more likely to if I could get it on my iPod - guaranteed reception of your favourite shows wherever you go? I like - but then again all the shows I like are on National Public Radio. Hmm.. maybe I should be making that donation to the NEA afterall.


Michael considered fate at 19:53   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Oh I was soooo right. Blogging is a powerful medium. Look what they caught now: E! Online posts Nick & Jessica divorce article, only to quickly pull it - a blogger catches them in the act. If this ain't news, well... umm. Oh nevermind.


Michael considered fate at 19:04   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Today I ordered Jaime's book Envy The Rain. While it's no tax-writeoffable charitable donation to the NEA, and it's not really supporting any starving artists in any real sense, it is nevertheless one of the best purchases I feel I have made in a very long time. That and I've been anticipating this read for years now.

Isn't that strange, the way that word looks on the screen? Years. It's how long I've been keeping up with the lives of a few strangers simply by glancing into their not-so-private journals every few days. Is this the entertainment of the new society? Are blogs just reality literature - small bite-sized snippets of prose delivered amid a spattering of corporate advertisements, just like The Apprentice, The Bachelor, The Nanny, The Real World, et al in their own media? Is it good because it's empathetic? Is it cathartic because it's connective or is it just the thrill of being a peeping tom? Would I get nearly as much out of it if I did not write a blog of my own? Am I foolish to think that there is more power in blogging than television because it encourages participation by the masses? If the Internet was a rock band is blogging it's sophmore album? If so, is it any good? Is it on the pop chart or the indie chart? When does a piece of music go from being indie to being pop? Say what you will about the stylistic pigeon-holing of genres but let me remind you that it's called pop because that's short for popular, which has very little to do with tempo, beat, or harmony. It has to do with how many people are listening to it.

Michael considered fate at 17:38   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Took a 66% cut in income, went back to school, moved back out of the united states, and you know what change has made the biggest impact in my life in the last year? billfold, people. billfold.

pops gave me a little leather billfold for xmas, 'ought 4, and i've been sitting up straight with a smile ever since. no more bulging wallet, no more listing to the side like a broken man. i'm upright and ready to go.

sure, the wallets still around. remember, that things lasted me through twelve years of rough and tumble and i'm not about to toss it just because it's in three different pieces with frayed edges. it still travels with me, i just don't use it on a day-to-day.

the billfold has a nice tan leather with a metal money clip in the middle. the money clip is hinged to a thick metal spring that acts as the spin along the fold. does this make any sense? the spring let's things flex, so I don't get a jab in the tush if I sit down wrong, which is a nice feature.

so it's slim, sure, but more importantly it's trimming - and I'm not talking about my figure either. I carry my credit and atm cards, my license, and that's about all she wrote. with the wallet there was all sorts of junk piled up in the various pockets like a forgotten attic full of junk which, sure, made for interesting table talk when some chick would go through it (as they are want to do) but the billfold, man.. it's like a breath of fresh air.

I don't even carry money in it, really.

tip? phone numbers on mini postit notes, stuck to your credit cards. (did you know postits turned 25 earlier this year? well they did).

tip? don't carry cash, it's easier to spend. the thought of swiping a card, signing a receipt - it's all too much to bear. I save money just thinking about the pain, suffering, and hassle of ATM withdrawals.

Michael considered fate at 13:25   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
A Minnesota appeals court has ruled that the presence of encryption software on a computer may be viewed as evidence of criminal intent.
This is pretty much.. no, wait.. it is exactly like saying having a lock on the door to your house is evidence of your criminal intent. The dichotomy between how much we use our judicial system to manage technology and that system's relative knowledge of technology is truly scary.


Michael considered fate at 16:18   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Yah. funny. hah.


Michael considered fate at 16:22   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Dear old downstairs neighbours whom I woke up with my motorcycle one night,

I'm really sorry I woke you up by revving my motorcycle loudly at 1AM in the morning directly outside your bedroom window. I know I was mere feet from your slumbering bodies but I was drunk. No, I didn't ride my motorcycle - perhaps you'd have preferred that given the state I was in? - but I did feel inclined to show my friend visiting from out of town that my motorcycle was capable of turning it's crank at 9,000 revolutions per minute. The fact that it was also capable of turning on *your* crank was initially overlooked.

When you stepped out onto your porch and yelled "Turn that FUCKING THING OFF" your feelings on the matter were made more clear to me. Opening up a dialogue of communication between us in this way was just the olive branch that was needed to start us off on a good relationship. My dumbfounded expression and wide-eyed stare of a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar was meant to communicate comprehesion though I am afraid that, in my inebriated state and with Jagermeister puke on my jacket, I might not have been as obvious as you in my attempts at neighbourly intercourse.

I know you probably associate me with the neanderthals who live in the back of the building, drinking Bud Light and leaving cigarette butts in the driveway, but I assure you this is not the case. That time you found my roommate and I with 40 ounce bottles of Colt 45 beer duct taped to both hands we were, in fact, conducting an experiment of the utmost importance and I thank you for not judging us in an unnecessarily harsh light.

In truth, I am a lot like you. I know this because I came home to find your door ajar one day and, though you were not home, I took a look around your apartment. I saw that you enjoy Harper's Magazine, as I do (sorry I stole your May issue) and I was impressed with your B.B. King record collection.

So again, I would like to apologize for any disturbance I might have caused you. It's not my fault you rented a first-floor apartment.

Michael considered fate at 10:55   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Well this is news to me:
Wal-Mart Stores Inc. is handing off its online DVD rental business to Netflix Inc., signaling the world's largest retailer couldn't beat the Internet upstart at its own game.

Despite its size and merchandising savvy, Bentonville, Ark.-based Wal-Mart couldn't overcome Netflix's head start in the rapidly expanding niche of online DVD rentals. Wal-Mart concluded the service didn't blend in well with its stores, said John Fleming, an executive vice president who oversees the company's online operations.
NPR's Marketplace had commentary (real audio) by Curt Nickish yesterday evening about how the brick and mortar behemoth couldn't beat the Internet startup at its own game. He goes on to blame it on a number of reasons but never mentions the most obvious (especially for a show called Marketplace) - Marketing! Say what you will about online versus brick and mortar companies but I think Wal-Mart's woes had more to do with the fact that I never heard of their offering! How can anyone expect to sell something if no one knows they are selling it?! I'd have about the same luck if I tried to sell my artwork behind my local Applebee's, between the dumpster and the propane tanks.

The article mentions that Wal-Mart's online DVD rental service has been around for about two years yet I've never seen a single commercial or advertisement. This is quite the opposite for Netflix, who had a marketing blitz a year or two ago. This can also be said for Wal-Mart's digital music download service (which is cheaper, by 11 cents per song, then Apple's iTunes music store). I have a sneaking suspicion that the sort of net-savvy users who are interested in renting DVDs online aren't going to think to go to Wal-Mart for all their boob-tube needs, nor are the people shopping on the sort of people who know what a DVD is (okay, that's harsh - and a joke - but you get my point).

I know Wal-Mart is one of the 15 largest online retailers but what they need to remember is this:

Online, everyone's store front is the same size

People shop in brick and mortar Wal-Marts because they are gigantic buildings that pop up in people's neighbourhoods over night. The low prices keep people coming back and before you know it their main street is dead and they don't even have a choice anymore. This isn't the same online. There is no premium for real estate on the World Wide Web. Anyone can buy a plot, and like the land lotteries of the 1800's they're all the same size. What Wal-Mart is falsely presuming is that people who shop in their online store already are the same people who are going to rent their DVDs or buy their digital music offerings. This is wrong. What they should really be doing is using their 10 television commercials per hour to advertise their online offerings. By association their brick and mortar stores would get advertising and people would also learn about Wal-Mart's DVD rentals, gift registries, and music downloads. This is about Mindshare(tm). They need to tell me that they have more movies and that they are offered at lower prices than because, unless they tell me I DON'T KNOW! For a company as gigantic as Wal-Mart and one that is clearly willing to spend oodles of cash on advertising, it blows my mind how badly they dropped the ball on this on.

Editor's Note: I hate Wal-Mart.. I actually hope they don't realize the error of their ways.


Michael considered fate at 16:21   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
I'm not known for being a hypocondriac but when your testicle ballons up on you and it feels like there is a little kebler elf is in your knickers perpetually rattling away on your scrot like it was the perfect punching bag.. well, you get the picture. I wrote about my little episode from last fall on here - how I didn't have health insurance, how everything worked out in the end, etc, ad nausem - but I don't think I put quite the amount of self-deprecating humour into as I was trying for. Luckily I tripped over this piece today, which reaches the exact spot on the chuckle-o-meter that I was shooting for:
i once went to the doctors clinic because i thought that i had felt a lump on one of my testicles. it felt like i had waited for years in the waiting room and when he called my name my legs felt all weak from nerves. when i got into the examining room he said 'so why are you here mr gallagher?' and i told him 'i was examining my testicles and i think that i felt something odd'. the doc told me to remove my clothes and to lie down on the table. this was not my penis' best performance. it didn't look good. i looked down and thought 'that's not my cock'

Michael considered fate at 11:43   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
A less obvious explaination for the Red Sox World Series win?
"Across a range of sports, we find that wearing red is consistently associated with a higher probability of winning," report Russell A. Hill and Robert A. Barton of the University of Durham in England. Their findings are in Thursday's issue of the journal Nature.

Michael considered fate at 10:49   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
From Consumers Union (non-profit publishers of Consumer Reports) -
In the U.S., over 100 million cell phones are taken out of service each year.
Gak! That's a lotta cell phones. Considering that there are a lot of countries with much higher cell phone saturation I wonder how many are tossed globally in a year? Why not donate them instead?


Michael considered fate at 10:25   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
And this one from Slashdot; Washington state has just passed a bill that chops the cohones off of spyware distributors.. sorta. The wide-sweeping bill imposes penalties of $100,000 per violation, where "violation" includes, in part, software that:
  • changes a browser's bookmarks or homepage settings

  • Opens multiple, sequential, stand-alone advertisements in the owner or operator's internet browser

  • logs keystrokes, takes over control of the computer, or modifies its security settings

  • Falsely represents that computer software has been disabled

  • Prevents, through intentionally deceptive means, an owner or operator's reasonable efforts to block the installation or execution of, or to disable, computer software by causing the software that the owner or operator has properly removed or disabled automatically to reinstall or reactivate on the computer.

That last one was a dousy. Microsoft and Ebay both testified in support of the bill, proving once again that if you are a low-life bottom-feeding no-good-for-nothing scam-artist of a company, the government will protect it's people from you, but if you are a top-of-the-pile bohemouth scam-artist of a company who forces your licensing/pricing structure on the monopolized masses.. then.. well.. have at it.

Michael considered fate at 10:16   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
On the heels of the new Yahoo online music subscription service, Barry Ritholz has posted a great bit on how cheap online music stores seemingly illegitimize the huge fines the RIAA tries to impose on your grandmother and young children:
Back in February, we looked at what the actual losses were to the Recording Industry in "The False Mathematics of the RIAA."

It turned out that the claims were greatly exaggerated. Using the concept of substitution, a consumer could replace the free P2P music sourcing by paying Napster $180 per year, or Rhapsody (Real Networks) only $120 per year.

Now Yahoo steps into the fray, and lowers the cost of annual "all-you-can-eat" music consumption to $60 per year. Over the course of a decade, that amounts to $1,800 $1,200 $600.

Kinda makes it hard to argue that losses per P2P user are in the 10s of thousands of dollars annually when $600 per 10 years is what it costs for a comparable substitute.


Michael considered fate at 13:45   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Drove home last night from the bar and as I was climbing up Franklin Arterial from the Old Port at about 35mph I noticed the white jetta up ahead of me, in the other lane. As I closed the gap between us I saw them hammer on the gas to cut off my approach. I never understand why people will drive at a constant speed down road only until a car starts to pass them in a nearby lane, at which point they speed right up as if driving was a contest. As if it proves something about your masculine nature, or your femine right to equality in going faster then the next guy, or maybe even the simple fact that your car goes faster than mine. Guess what folks? I've never driven a Kia but I hear they go 40mph, too. You ain't proven nothing but your ability to let other people control your actions.


They reached the blinking red light before I did but I kept my speed up until I almost hit the crossing. Then I saw them slow to about 10mph and roll right through the tomato as if it were a banana. As I came to a complete stop - look left, look right - I saw a cop car parked on the side of the road and as my wheels rotated back up to speed I watched it spring into action. I knew the poor little jetta driver's fate before they did. As I slowed for the next blinking red the cop car wizzed past me, also rolling through the intersection at about 10mph, and the rollers came on, flashing LED blues into the night. A few blocks later the jetta accepted it's fate, came to a stop, and I rolled on by chuckling in the darkness, laughing at other's misfortunes like the bastard that I am.


Michael considered fate at 20:56   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Just realized there is an Ogre show this weekend in the port city.. excellent. I am excited. If you knew what you were missing you'd be jealous, trust me. If you want to know what you're missing, check the mp3s out here. New album promised soon!

Michael considered fate at 17:17   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
This site is blocked by the SonicWALL Content Filter Service.


Reason for restriction: Forbidden Category "Pornography"

Michael considered fate at 16:37   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Got up way earlier on the weekend than I even get up for my damn weekday job - what's wrong with me? - but I heard a bit of Michael Feldman's Whad'Ya Know? show (appropriately: on Saturday morning and two things:

#1, the town of the week was Farmington, Maine, home of the University of Maine Beavers (known for it's education program for wannabe-teachers, which means lotsa gals), and wouldn't you know it they couldn't stop talking about the hot blonde track star before I had to get out of the car so who knows what they talked about.

#2, One question on the Whad'Ya Know quiz was "How many Californians (of all ages) refer to their comrades as 'Dude'" the options being a) 1/3rd, b) 2/3rds, and c) 3/3rds.
antonio can you pick up misses at the goldblatts, i apologize i realize its early and id say driving your wife and your family is not just my job its my love and the old dude would laugh and say oh you.
The answer was 2/3rds.

Update: Here is a link to the archive page for this show (May 14th, 2005). Both #1 and #2 are in the last half hour of the show: Part D (real audio).

Michael considered fate at 12:59   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment


Michael considered fate at 18:10   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Rent Your Body. Ack #$&%*@:
Participants agree to wear temporary tattoos (logos) supplied by Advertisers. By doing so, YOU can earn BIG $$$$$.

Why make a Profile ??
  • Earn $$$ By Wearing a Tattoo

  • Join Our Online Community

  • Get Popular !!!

  • Earn Easy Spending Money

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

Michael considered fate at 14:15   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Idaho bill introduced in legislature to recognize creator of Napolean Dynamite:
Be It Resolved by the Legislature of the State of Idaho:

WHEREAS, the State of Idaho recognizes the vision, talent and creativity of Jared and Jerusha Hess in the writing and production of "Napoleon Dynamite"; and

WHEREAS, the scenic and beautiful City of Preston, County of Franklin and the State of Idaho are experiencing increased tourism and economic growth; and

WHEREAS, filmmaker Jared Hess is a native Idahoan who was educated in the Idaho public school system; and

WHEREAS, the Preston High School administration and staff, particularly the cafeteria staff, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention; and

WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's most famous export; and

WHEREAS, the friendship between Napoleon and Pedro has furthered multiethnic relationships; and

WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics;

et cetera, et cetera, et cetera...


Michael considered fate at 18:40   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Because I pretend to try to keep this site up to date with the online music industry news, I should report that Yahoo has announced it's new online music store:
Its price is $6.99 a month, or just $4.99 a month for those who sign up for a year.

For that price, users can transfer songs to other portable devices.

RealNetworks and Napster sell their comparable services for $14.99 a month, or $9.99 without the device-transfer capability.

Still, Apple is the online music conductor ... It sells songs for 99 cents per download.
This doesn't come as a real big shock as Yahoo has been running around buying up companies like MusicMatch and (remember those annoying monthly CDs?). Will it work? This is an interesting question but it's worth noting that Yahoo fills it's wallet mostly through advertising. The music portion of the biz only needs to barely maintain itself in order to provide yet more advertising space to the internet giant.


Michael considered fate at 23:26   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
i wandered online tonight thinking that maybe i'd read a blog or two and then call it quits, hit the sack, and make an early night out of it. yet somehow, i can't even find the *oomph* to do that and i've been around on this earth long enough to know that probably means i need to drag ass, get something going, motivate, or stagnate with the rest of 'em.. so here i am


you got me, i'm just giving it a try. so sue me.

i think part of the groan this evening came from my foray into the city this afternoon for freeze-dried hiking food and some quinoa (quina is a natural hippy grain i was turned onto this year by a pal which, once i discovered it's far more difficult to screw up then rice, i've made the switch to [i realize that was a less than stellar grammatical foray and i apologize for it |i just noticed i used foray twice now {we are talking about natural foods, gimma a break}|]). luckily all of this foraging was taking place in the same parking lot - an area right off the highway covered in cement for far enough around to make you feel like you're actually in a city. i stepped into the Whole Grocer, Maine's largest independently owned health food store, and got to the bulk foods aisle. it's your typical scene with bins and bins of everything from cashews to, well.. quinoa, but i like it. i like it because it's a little dirty. just the slightest. there is grain on the floor like people are actually buying it and the produce doesn't shine like plastic marienettes in a stir fry play.. rather it just sits there, like vegetables should sit there. like they were grown outside and maybe, just maybe, without a bunch of things sprayed on top of them that end in suffixes like "-trate" and "-oxide".

right across the parking lot is Wild Oats. people love it, i guess.. based on the traffic i see going in and out of there. it went in about two years ago - yes, right next to Maine's largest independently owned health food store. i imagine, in my naiviest of hearts, that it was nothing but a coincidence. meanwhile, Whole Foods, the nation's largest natural foods supermarket, is planning on moving in almost right next door. wonderful indeed.

the most wonderful part of it all, of course, is watching the shoppers - fresh young hippies in their shiny dreads, driving their shiny new subaru outbacks (you know, the environmentally superior ones with 6-cylinder engines that get less than 20 miles to the gallon)..

organic food sales in the u.s. is apparently a 13 billion dollar industry. tuesday i listened to maine public radio during my roadtrip. they broadcast a talk from the commonwealth club of california by the director of the earth institute at columbia university jeffrey sachs. i'd link the talk because it was good but it's not on the web yet. it was basically economic in nature and the main thrust was about african development aid and how little we, as a nation, devote towards that effort. about 2 billion dollars which, standing next to the 500 billion dollar military budget well.. you be the judge. it's hard because i, as a white (red blooded) male living in the u.s. of goddamned a. well you better fucking believe i cherish my rights to do whatever the hell i want to do with my money and if that means war that means war.. but we're not talking about much money. you can read a speech of his here which touches on some of this topic, my favourite excerpt being:
September 11, which has dominated the world’s agenda for more than two years, claimed 3,000 lives. Every day 20,000 people are dying of their poverty from AIDS, TB and malaria. Every single day.

And yet, where are we? This year the world will spend 900 billion dollars on armaments, 50 billion dollars on development assistance and perhaps 1 billion dollars on AIDS. My own country, the United States, will spend 450 billion dollars on the military and 10 billion dollars on development assistance. A ratio of 45 to 1.
10 billion dollars.. that's less than a fat country full of mcdonalds consumers spends on organic food in a year. nevermind how that 10 billion is misused, misappropriated, or just never even gets to where it needs to go.

i am, as anyone who knows me will attest, no flaming hippy. i am, however, a true believer of capitalism, economics, evolution, and inevitability. it's no secret that overpopulation comes from these poverty stricken areas of the world. it's no question that an area with infant mortality rates in the double-digits and life expectancy hovering barely above 30 is not going to help the world in it's current state. as the rest of the world globalizes it's economy africa and other third-world areas will be left to play catchup unless we help to jump start modern development there.

Michael considered fate at 13:18   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
How many cheeses in your pizza crust is too much? How many colours can they manufacture fake oil-based american cheese in? If dominos sold a pizza with purple provolone, would you buy it?

Michael considered fate at 11:10   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
And I couldn't resist this one, for those that know me I'm sure you'll get a good chuckle (or a groan):

Well Endowed Fish Get the Girls
Data in hand, Langerhans exposed about 50 females, one at a time, to video images of a male of average proportions at one end of an aquarium and an outsized male at the other end.

"They chose the larger one over and over," Langerhans said. "All females had the same preference."

Mosquitofish bear their young live, bypassing the whole egg-in-the-gravel hassle. Among such livebearing fish species, gonopodia range from less than 20 percent of a fish's body length to more than 70 percent. Don't ponder that too long, but trust that it fits into an evolutionary puzzle that spawned this study.

Michael considered fate at 10:59   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
I still hear people complaining about the lack of flying cars and robot maids but with headlines like these do you really still feel like it's 1985?

German Robot Dogs Dominate 2005 RoboCup U.S. Open
After the match, the German robot dogs were programmed to flex their metal biceps.


Michael considered fate at 15:29   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Ask me to get up at 8am once in a blue moon and I'm dragging ass by 3:30pm. What do you expect? These bones aren't built for early morning brainstorming sessions. This body doesn't care much for bright-and-early bird specials or wake up with the sun bologna. This body doesn't even care much for bologna.

Chugged two cups of coffee early and hit the road running, 80mph in the little silver company VW Golf feeling every bit as much of the little-girl-inside me clapping her hands in excitement and wanting to bunch her. The car shook and trembled but kept up and at least the roads were clear, the sky was blue, and for once.. for once.. it wasn't raining.

By 10pm I was walking in the clients door. Zombie. Alert, but living dead.. Another three cups of coffee down. One to go. I was gone by three. Beautiful day for a drive. Just beautiful.

Traffic got choppy down in the southern Maine region but they mostly stayed out of my way and I blew past in the passing lane showing them how to drive like a respectable human being: using my blinker, giving people room, waving at old ladies and the prisoners trash-picking on the side of the road. The low-gas bell rang as I pulled into the company parking lot but I left it for someone else to deal with. Too nice of a day to think about pumping gas. Too nice of a day to think about anything really.

Just a really nice day.


Michael considered fate at 15:22   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
The silence I hear behind all these computers - whir, *buzz*, spin, silence - my ears deafened like a mad man bludgeoned to death for crimes as yet uncommitted - the silence is loud, and it is real. On a lazy, overcast, wet, and drizzly day of a Sunday like today it's all I can do to keep from yelling out: just to hear a voice that does not originate from one electronic box or another. But out of my head, when the words leave me, it's like they're trying to escape and when they leave they don't look back. These aren't kids leaving home with nostalgic memories of their childhood, marching off to college to grow up and do good things, save the world.. These are prisoners, this is a jailbreak.

This, maybe, is why they refuse to gel together into properly formed sentences or cohesive thoughts. This, perhaps, is why they present more of a pile of broken glass than a stained glass window. They're angry and refuse to conform. Fight the system. I'm the system. I don't blame them.. but I keep my mouth shut anyway.

Tap. click. type. pound. the keys snap down against their switches cranking out ideas almost as rapidly as they are created in the kilns of my thought. They're presented red-hot on the screen, the phosphorus glowing brightly. But with the backspace key as my sword I strike them down, one by one, these useless jumbled piles of thinking parts. I can't stand it, this silence screaming in my head. I can't let it speak. I just can't let it speak.


Michael considered fate at 12:43   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Reading in the library (bathroom) today; U.S. News & World Report. Enter fullpage Viagra ad:
Studies show Viagra can improve sexual relationship satisfaction.
Question: is lack of sexual relationship satisfaction a medical problem? Is there a pill I can take to send my loserness into remission?

The most common side effects of Viagra are headache (not right now honey, I have a..), facial flushing (are you taking viagra?! gosh, that's embarassing), and upset stomach (yuck, not with you, you make me sick!). Less common .. being sensitive to light (honey, don't look at me, I'm hideous! turn off the light!).
Special surprise fun fact:
Viagra does not protect you or your partner from getting sexually transmitted diseases.
Who knew?

Michael considered fate at 10:50   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
lazy. schlep. stinky. uninterested in the hip-trips attempt at showering away the guilt two, three times a day because: shiny doesn't mean pure. only warnings i really heed are those blaring from inside my head and even then, mildly (the heedonism, not the blaring). fine fine. but it doesnt explain the occasional tumble-weed bouncing across my path, settling down on a stool next to mine at the bar, sitting in a chair in front of mine at the diner, filling an empty space next to mine in my bed. cant quite understand it but i do anyway, nod my head and say okay, just settle into it and take it. for what its worth.

and so they ask, sometimes, how? what are the reasons? who is your type? where do you want to be? why me? and I have to say why, why oh why, why me? answer a question with a question and you'll get a blank stare, rebuttal, revocation. withdrawn your honour.

i don't really know anymore than the next guy except that they're evil, the other team. great opponents, but they play dirty like the mud. driven to win. best you can hope for - dream a little dream - is a draw.

if they're evil, she said, why do you let them in? because, i said. if you think they're so bad why do you open yourself up? because, i said.

no, really.. why?

i sighed a million year sigh and considered myself carefully. because, i said. because every once in awhile one of them is sporting enough to come spend some time in my bed and i'm able to slow down, stop, and smell the roses. because while there is nothing worse, more scary, or horrid than a snarling woman scorned.. there is absolutely nothing better than a woman, absolutely nothing better than the apertif of bedroom gymnastics - that quiet before the storm when the waters glass over and the sun sparkles like it does at no other time, the birds chirp warily in anticipation. it's the now never always (i wish) moment of my life. hopefully to be repeated. over. and over. and over. like the moment before you fully awaken in the morning, the second before you fall asleep at night, the brief spark of time before your favourite food hits your mouth. heaven? Sky rockets in flight, anticipatory delite.


Michael considered fate at 14:28   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
Kindergarden, 4 years old. Potty was in the laundry room of caretakers house. Caretaker gave me a personal warning to not pee on the walls, because some boys were doing it (how could she have known it was only the boys? sounded like hippy femmie BS to 4 year-old me). I had never, ever even imagined you *could* pee anywhere but the potty. When she left the room, much peeing on the walls ensued. Pee everywhere, my name written incriminatingly, yet illegibly, on each of the three walls surrounding the potty.


Actual real reasons that I am a Schlep, Volume 1
Michael considered fate at 16:37   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
1. I have yet to have a run 'round Portland's back bay even though I've been in town for over half a month now.

2. My digital camera sits lonely in my bag, as lonely and untouched as the back bay has been, despite the wonderment I am visually pelted with day in and day out.

3. Inevitably, the archived entries in this blog that I enjoy the most are those which I thought were most full of crap when I wrote them.

4. I write lists of reasons why I'm a schlep.

Michael considered fate at 14:05   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
If you've been following the hyped release of Apple's new Mac OS X version, Tiger, then you know that the company TigerDirect is suing Apple for trademark infringment. However, there is some refreshing news on the matter: Robert F. Young, one of the founders of Red Hat, now owns a Canadian football team in Hamilton called the Tiger-Cats (named the Tigers from 1869 through 1950 - 81 years). He is offering the use of the football team's rights to the Tiger name to Apple for free. From the Globe and Mail article:
"This lawsuit is a load of codswallop," said Mr. Young. "Nobody and no company should have the exclusive use of the word 'tiger.'"

Yes, indeed, that is mighty refreshing. I wonder if something as funny as the Carl Sagan saga will result:
(Reuter) - Apple Computer Inc. said Wednesday [ November 15th, 1995] it settled a lawsuit brought by astronomer Carl Sagan, who had objected
to the company's use of his name.

Sagan's complaint stemmed from the use of his name at Apple as a code word for the development of its Power Macintosh 7100 computer, according to court documents.

After lawyers for Sagan complained, the company switched to a new name for the project. But that did not satisfy Sagan, who sued Apple after news reports said that product managers had relabeled the project BHA, which supposedly stood for "Butt-head Astronomer," the court documents stated.

An Apple spokeswoman declined to say what the initials stood for. "It was an internal thing as all our codes are and was never meant for external consumption," she said.

But she added: "Carl Sagan understood it to mean butt-head astronomer."

Michael considered fate at 13:52   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
From Slashdot article Time Travelers' Convention:
Some folks at MIT are holding a time-travelers' convention. The idea is to make it so famous and so widely-known that even thousands of years in the future, people will still know exactly when and where this time-traveler convention went down, and will all come travel to it at some point in their illustrious time-traveling careers. For those interested in attending, it's on May 7, 2005, 10:00pm EDT (08 May 2005 02:00:00 UTC) in the East Campus Courtyard at MIT. 42:21:36.025N, 71:05:16.332W (42.360007,-071.087870 in decimal degrees).

So the real interesting questions here are:

1. If time is continuous then the future exists now (somewhere) and therefore if humans ever did (will) harness the power of time-travel then wouldn't they come back and let us know?

2. Are they such arogant snobs that they have better things to do than come visit their grandpappies (like rush to the future to pick up their very own sports almanac) ?

3. If Dr. Who doesn't show up in his Tardis, does that prove that time-travel is impossible or only that humans are too dumb to figure it out?


Michael considered fate at 12:47   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
While Alex can always post here himself, he is a) lazy, b) a little lazy, and c) known to be lazy, on occasion. Plus there is the slightest chance in hell that maybe he is embarrassed about this one.. so I'll post it for him:
I went walking on the ho'd-out Del Playa Friday and had one of the weirdest nights of my life. Very, very humorous, though. Let's remember that this is the street that is like a continuous block party for about 1.5 miles. Walking with four friends, all with satisfactory to excellent levels of intoxication. I find myself lying in the street after . . . well, I'm not quite sure how I got there. A stumble perhaps. As I am contemplating raising myself, three girls walk up from out of the sea of passers-by. One proclaims it to be her birthday and asks if we can make out. Note that I am still lying in the street at this point. Subsequently, DP make out #1. Later in the evening, I stroll casually up to a girl to bum a cigarette. Upon receiving one, I proceed to tell her my theory on the occasional use of tobacco and the proper administration thereof. I light it up and diligently finish about half the cigarette in less than 20 seconds. After the handoff of the remaining cigibutt to one of my friends, I offer my arm to the girl to walk. This is well timed, as the tobacco chooses that moment to set in, and she becomes an integral part of my support system. I find myself leaning against her, and her face nuzzling my neck. "What's this," I wonder? "Make out #2?" Indeed. But here's the capper. We make out for a bit, and proceed to walk down the street arm in arm. It's at this point that I realize that the tobacco is not finished with me, and I close my eyes to enjoy the ride. All of a sudden, I AM STRUCK by a car. I fall over the hood, noticing that there is condensation on the windshield. The girl looks at me in something akin to panic, and shuffles away. Alas. There was a miscommunication in who was leading who. Turns out, I had steered us full force into a parked car. Luckily, I buffered her from the bulk of the impact. Realizing what had happened, the evening deteriorates into near paralytic hysteria, with one of my friend's paranoia being the single thread saving us from Drunk in Public charges.


Michael considered fate at 11:56   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
A watched pot never boils and so an oft-refreshed site meter doth not trouble itself with worries of incrementation. Step away from the computer for a few days, however, and I return only to find a veritable cornucopia of flavourful visits. Web searches for illegalize alcohol, random visitors from Wisconsin, old friends checking up on me... And best of all, multiple page views.

When I see some random visitors looking for Saab 900 spark plugs or Red Sox Fenway pictures and then I see that they hung around for three or four page views, even poking into my archives, it makes me feel like maybe there is a point to even having an archive afterall. Maybe there is a point to writing this garbage down day in and day out and publishing it on the web. If this was just for my friends then shit, I could just send them an email, couldn't I?

The random blog visitor is like a good conversation at a bar with some oddball you've never seen before. Except I guess I'm the oddball in this comparison.. Opening a tiny window into a different world.. maybe one that looks familiar or maybe one that looks completely strange. I dunno.

The random blog visitor is like a patient in a waiting room, picking up a magazine they might otherwise never have looked at. Old men flipping through Prevention or young girls reading Newsweek. Babies drooling on People. I've even read a few Redbook in my time.

Nobody said you had to like it but it certainly doesn't hurt to know that it's out there. Awareness of the different worlds around you prepares you when a new one comes around the corner and slaps you in the face. Knowing can only make you more well adjusted and less naive when the war of all these little worlds really starts to come to a head.

Michael considered fate at 11:41   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
From: Ross
To: Michael
Subject: dude
Sup buddy?

I heard you signed up for the Jamaica fantasy
vacation. It's gonna be rockin'.. or jammin'

From: Michael
To: Ross
Subject: Re: dude

I signed up to go to Jamaica, yes.. but it's up to you
to make sure one of the single bridesmaids likes me
enough to make it a "fantasy vacation".


From: Ross
To: Michael
Subject: Re: dude
I've got two potential hook-ups lined up for ya. One is more likely (90%) than the other (50%)**. I'll be sure to point both of you in the right direction after a few banana daiquiris.

**Percentages are estimates of likelihood for "scoring". This email does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information or process herein disclosed.

Powered by Blogger

Check out heroecs, the robotics team competition website of my old supervisor's daughter. Fun stuff!
Page finished loading at: