Play M.A.S.H.
You will live in Apartment.
You will drive a Green Porsche 911.
You will marry Natalie and have 0 kids.
You will be a Professor on the West Coast.
Well.. I guess things could be a lot worse. After having been informed by www.playmash.com of my imminent fate I have sold off my TV, furniture, and barbie doll collection. I have contacted a number of colleges for a list of job openings and, having failed miserably to instill a sense of qualification in their minds as to my professional character, I have also contacted the school of hard knocks and offered my services at a greatly reduced rate. Luckily, we nabbed 'Green' for a car color, which I will loosely interpret as "English Racing Green" - hurrah for us. Unfortunately, however, it appears as though Natalie is barren (for I am certainly not shooting blanks) and has not given me the promise of an heir. Phooey.
I guess I have to start liking the West Coast. *Sigh*