and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

www.archive.org is a fun time. Want to see what www.yahoo.com looked like back in 1996? Wonder how whitehouse.gov looked while Clinton was in office? Go check it out.

I looked my old college website up and managed to find some long lost writings for you to enjoy. I'll be posting them up to my Writings page soon, but for now, from waaaayyyy back:

Ramblings

I have argued for ages that the soul purpose of our individual existence is to simply procreate, pass on our genetic code in the form of offspring, and die. No if’s, and’s, or butt’s about it. I have argued for ages that this is part of the greater whole: the universe and its patternistic existence. It was my idea that people, just like planets, are simply groupings of matter, and that everything in the universe is such a grouping. I also pointed out that, due to the limits of things (i.e. the limit of material on this earth, the limit of energy coming from the sun) there is no such thing in this current universe, or at least that part of the universe in proximity to us, that can be called truly random. Random, in itself, suggests that which we cannot even comprehend. Random is more metaphysical then God himself, for the concept is, to me, very mind-boggling. Even your average toddler can easily grasp the idea of God, yet true randomness is something many people struggle to understand. My general idea is this: pick a number, from 1 to 100. Is it random? No, that number can not be, is not truly random, for it is limited to those numbers between 1 and 100. This holds true for anything. Weather, for example, something many people see as random, is in fact not. If we had the technology to monitor every molecule floating in our atmosphere, we could most probably predict weather patterns quite accuratly and specifically.

So, what can be concluded from all this? What else, but my theory of order, that states that all matter in the universe is gravitating together, therefore moving from randomness, to order. We human beings are simply groupings, or more precisly, patterns of matter. As we evolve (through the passing of genes), our patterns become less and less random, more and more alike. We are just a tiny cog in the gigantic machine. But everyone likes to feel important, right? Of course, which brings me to the topic of this article: is knowledge and expression of the human condition part of the evolution (or ordering) of the matter of the universe? If it is, what is matter?

Don’t we all, at some point during the week, during the year, during our life, feel that we are just not doing something right, that there is something missing? Why? It is clear that the human mind feeds off knowledge and new ideas, which is partly so that we may protect ourselves from our surroundings, but at the same time, it seems as if there is something more. We need learning to survive. Yet learning, gone unchecked, causes an inbalance in the mind. When experience collects, but is not released, tension builds. So what is it that balances learning? What else but teaching. When we share ourselves to others, we are giving them knowledge. There is a fine balance between this pair, experience and expression. Experience is what is needed to continue on with the process; experience is the genes with which we build new life. Expression is taking that new life and bettering it; expression is evolution. Unfortunatly, it would seem that modern society has drastically disturbed this balance.

We experience all our lives in this society, but when do we ever get to express? An arguement for sports, for sure, and possibly an explaination for their popularity. We learn and learn and learn for the first 20+ years of our lives and when are we given a chance to share what we have to offer? So, in place of that comes sports. In sports, the individual expresses himself through slamming people up against the boards, tackling, hitting, and scoring. The individual feels important when he scores a goal, or knocks another player down. Sounds somewhat primal to me, yet it is all we have in this very modern society with which to give back to the process. Is this the wrong direction? Probably, but who can tell?

There is no such thing as matter....think about that one long enough and it changes the way you look at things. Let me tell you that there is, of course, matter...but what is matter?...energy! Matter is simply (usually) lowlevel energy...it's so weird... pick up an object...what are you seeing? Feeling? What is happening? It feels like you're touching the object: but you're not....there's no way any two things can touch each other because of atomic repulsion...and what are atoms?...how are they made?...stars, which fused hydrogen into helium and down and down and down the periodic table to the heavy elements... and the star eventually turned into a type II supernova and BOOM...a scattered mess thoughout the whole universe of pieces of different sorts of matter...light & heavy. Then eventually, through the whole process of going from "chaos" toward "order" we are here...and life is now perfect. Okay, maybe not perfect...but thinking...working on our bodies...working on our "spirit".. is all part of this process toward order. I suppose that was my basic idea when I started this article. Whether you believe in that hooky story about that `God’ dude, or you believe we evolved from ants, it doesn’t really matter. We should all do our part to be balanced. Outstanding? No. Just balanced. For then we will truly have evolved.