and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

I wanted to talk to you today. I wanted to say something that would make sense and sort of spark a fire in your belly and a light in your heart and a little bulb would blink on in your mind and you'd say Thanks Mike, I never thought of that or maybe That's a great suggestion, I will give it an honest try. But alas I am bone dry. Bone dry and dead in the water and i got nothing for you, world.

Bush is bad. I don't think you can really make an arguement for the guy. Since when does decisiveness along get you any points? I can be decisive too.. just the other day I was at Wendy's, in line, and like, I totally got to the front of the line and the guy behind the counter said, like, what do I want to order? And I totally hadn't thought about what I wanted ... but you know what I did? I stepped up. I was decisive. I secured a moral victory over that sprawling 99 cent menu with all it's options trying to entice me to spend more than I really want or need - I order two things and two things only. I was decisive.

No one is throwing me a fucking party.

But at least Canada doesn't hate me.

Or the French.

They might actually hate me, but it's probably because I repeat jokes like How do you separate the men from the boy's in France? With a crowbar!. I don't even really mean it but it's funny.

Humor works because it's true... or at least partly. There is a sliver of truth in every joke and if you don't believe me you're wrong.

Show me a joke that isn't offensive to someone and I probably won't laugh too hard.

Give me a one-liner that isn't at anyone's expense and I'll show you a sentence.

Russia and me get along though. We don't agree on a lot of the hard-line politics but there are some things we agree on. We agree on making liquor from potatoes and that alone is enough for us to let the rest of our differences go.

Do you know how Lebanon has managed to stay out of the news, despite it being a terrorist haven back in the heyday of Carter and Regan? Shish-taouk. The world, as a whole, can agree on Shish-taouk. That's some damn good shit.. I mean shish. We can let the rest slide.

I know the world is not at peace today. My country is at war for a week and already it is covering up mistakes and follies. This infant war, this newborn... it has shit it's pants and it stinks.

Still though, all is not lost.

Here in Maine, last night, as the sun was setting over the ridges of the Applachian mountains and the air, slow baked at 55 degrees all day, was begin to cool to a just right temperature, I rode my motorcycle. At first she didn't want to start. The engine cranked and cranked and cranked and the little fuel pump gurgled away in the depths of it's metalic home. The engine sizzled and coughed and all at once made a gruff remark about her long winter's nap -unwilling, it seemed, to get out of bed. But the sun was too bright and the air too fresh for her to refuse too long and like a horse that loves to run she fired up in due time. White steam floated off the exhaust and as the protective WD-40 burnt off and the two cylinders pumped youthfully.

I pulled out onto the I-95 and settled into a long ride home with a smile across my face and the air and earth and sky smiled happily back.