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Michael considered fate at 17:31   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

Well FUCK.

More fun with site meter. Firstly, wow - people really do search for themselves on the internet. Or other people search for them. It's sort of a weird concept, if you ask me.. but all of a sudden I am getting referrals from people searching google for names on my BIG List. Are they the people themselves? Are they other people searching for secrets and dirt? Are they private dicks?? In the parlance of Wooderson - It would be a cooler if they were. Private dicks are an odd sort.

Last week my friend - let's stay anonymous and call him.. oh... KC - had to go talk to a private dick. He has been attempting (albeit very casually attempting) to join that most sacred of unions.. uhh right - the U.S. Military. The Air Force to be exact. The Force of the Air (I'll refrain from potty humor). Somewhere, sometime ago, in high school, a "doctor" said he might have "ADD" and perhaps a "Sleeping Disorder". Perhaps. He wasn't even sure. These were in the doctor's notes. I mean heck, he might not even have been a doctor. Yet this was cause for enough alarm that he was poked and prodded and his medical records were sent off to the Surgeon General's office and he was "discharged". This despite the fact that he had never really been _in_ in the Air Force yet. Then, they called him back. They told him it was just a formality and that he was welcome to come back. Then they discharged him again. Like a cat playing with a little mouse. Bastards. Then... again they called him back. "Ha ha, we were just joking.. come on back". More testing. X-Rays. But now his recruiter refuses to return his calls and a Private Dick called him at his home.

Is this Kenneth Carlson?

Uhh.. sure. Who is this?

That's not important right now. Do you smoke pot?

Uhh.. no.

I'm a Private Dick and I'd like to set up a date with you

Uhh.. are you asking me out?

Uhh.. maybe. No.. no.. I'm not. I mean, could we meet somewhere.. like the Brunswick Naval Air Station?

Um.. I guess so. Where?

At the officers club? Over drinks? Uh. Ahem. I mean meet me at building #1452 at 2:30 on Feb 27th

Righhhtttt... Yeah, I'll be there.

So despite all warning signs - despite the fact that his recruiter won't return his phone calls - despite the fact that a Private Dick wants a piece of him - despite the fact that he is being lured onto a Military base - he goes. The guy asks him some questions. Questions about pot. KC is not a pot smoker. KC does not, as they say, partake in the cheeba. EVERY OTHER PERSON I EVER KNEW who went in the military smoked pot. NO ONE ever EVER questioned them about it. Then he let's him go.

His recruiter is still not returning his calls.

Fun fact #2 about our beloved site meter... through it I found out that I am, yes, no kidding, on someone's readership list. That fun little side bar on people's blogs where they list the other blogs they've been reading recently in a sort of popularity contest. I'm not saying I'm completely above that so, yippee for me. I mean, tony put me on his jan. links, but that didn't seem like an outright "i read you everyday" comment. I'm just glad someone has fun here. You do have fun, don't you? I hope so.

Fun fact #3 - someone got to this page via google through a search for the phrase "can people implode?".

Fun fact #4 - When you post your URL link in various profiles and odd spots - well - odd people are bound to find your webpage. People you didn't expect to and people you didn't really plan on. This is interesting because there have been a lot of blogs lately that are sort of shutting down, or at least cutting back because of this very reason. There is the fear of work finding someone's personal site. The fear of friends or family members or enemies or your cat finding your site - and then you're screwed cause your cat will see that post about how you feed him the cheapo brand and he'll see that time you made fun of his hairballs and.. well. You can see where this is going. My own personal opinion? Fuck it. I got little to hide and even less to talk about anyway. I once got FIRED from a job for pretty much calling the company stupid shmucks on my website. Bad move? Sure. Sorry I did it? Umm... a little. Do it again? Nah. Every turn out hunky dory? Yes. A resounding yes. I mean, the parents were none too pleased and I had to put up with their wrath for a few weeks but I was soon out in air painting a house in the wonderful august sun. It turned out fine and I'm happy it turned out the way it did so, like I said. Fuck it.

My old ex already tells everyone she thinks I'm gay. I already told my friend I fooled around with his ex. They already gave me my college degree - can't take that back anymore. And as far as the work goes? I work for a rockin' company and they're cool beans so I don't have to worry about it. Plus, I do good work. Good work can get you a lotta places. Like security and options and movement and freedom. Worth mentioning.

And one more thing, from aardvarkdj - I know we are all a little sick of the snow and the cold and the darkness - but why not go cut yourself out one more fun little paper snowflake, just cause..