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Michael considered fate at 15:52   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

A long time ago I ran across this site. It only has a simple image up on the frontpage that says "Rebuilding" and has remained that way since I found it. Somehow, though, I still keep going back because that small simple little image has drawn me in. I expect, now, to go there some day and find wonderful things.

I can't really imagine precisely what those things might be but I do know that they are wonderful. Little tidbits of information - like food morsels, salty and tangy.. maybe. Big bright ideas spread across the screen like a brilliant sunrise.. maybe. I don't know.

Not here though.. No bright ideas. No sunrises. Just monotonous drivel and caffeinated code - caffeinated in that sorta-half-out-of-it wired but tired way.

Sometimes I stare at the screen expecting something, someone, to be there.

*tap* *tap* *tap*

anyone home?

No answer. No one home.

cnn.com, do you have anything interesting to tell me today?

No, Michael, I do not.

ebay.com, do you have anything interesting to sell me today

No, Michael, I do not.

But I don't believe them. There are interesting things to read. There are interesting things to buy. Maybe it's me - maybe I'm what's so uninterested.

It's hot in here and the air moves ever so slowly. Around the world machines whir and spin and humans run and walk and the monkey's jump in their trees. Here it things don't move. Elsewhere, there is jubilation, sorrow, hiccups, and fees. Here there is the slow tick of the clock.

*tick*

Sticking by my guns I stay away from the coffee after noon. I drink copious amounts of water and pee like a race horse all afternoon.

*tock*

I ride through the motions of the work week. Turn one - tuck into coding, Turn two - accelerate towards coffee machine, Turn three - print out time sheet.

*tick*

In 1978 people thought a lot of different things about the world. In 2003 they still think a lot of different things about the world.

*tock*

And I turn 25.

*tick*tock*tick*

It took the United States of America approximately 10 years to send a man to the moon. I've spent more time sleeping than that.

*tock*

Three decades ago there was a race - a bigger better faster race for the most powerful muscle cars and the most ridiculus engines. Then, when hard times fell they cranked out mickey mouse carts in the name of economy and we've all rode in a Ford Escort sometime.

But now we have a rush for the 300HP barrier and Dodge neons doing 0-60 MPH in less than 6 seconds and leather - lots and lots of leather.

I wanna I wanna I wanna.

tick that tock

walk that rock

I wanna I wanna I wanna

do those things

feel those rings

I will I will I will

feel that burn

and never learn

I will I will I will

fear those eyes

tell those lies

to you.