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Michael considered fate at 14:50   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

Okay people. Mark your calendars.

I'm going hiking in the hills of Virginia - hunting for some banjo if you will - and I won't be back till Monday, May 12th.

2005.

No, I'm kidding.

I know you're all sad and teary eyed but remember that good things come to those who wait and that patience is a virtue.

It occurred to me last night, while I was packing, that there was no real good reason not to hike the trail in a suit. No real good reason either, but really why not? I have a black pin-stripe bunched up in the corner of my room (having been stripped off and thrown in the trunk after the best wedding reception I've ever been to - mmm, spiked watermelon) and it's already dirty so why the hell not?

no, i'm not going to do it cause really i'm just lazy and it doesn't seem practical and afterall if you aren't practical you're practically nothing, right? i like being practical. sometimes i practice being practical and it gives me a little smile - a sneaky grin - to know that i'm sneaking one past the weirdo upstairs - cause he certainly isn't practical. frogs and locusts and boils and burning bushes seems none to practical to me for sure.

anti pointed out that las vegas is the vegas in english and it made me wonder again about cities referred to as improper nouns.. or whatever grammatical construction that is. The Hague. what the fuck is that? i have an unhealthy obsession with that sort of stuff.

i like legos, though, and there isn't anything wrong with that. if denmark ever did us a service it was inventing legos. when i was younger, 2nd grade maybe, i had a babysitter every evening since my mother worked 2nd shift in the baby making department down at eastern maine medical center. she was a nice girl - friend of the family - and even then i knew she was a cutie (not that i knew what the hell that meant). she was in 8th grade.. 7th maybe.. and she used to talk on the phone sometimes and i thought she was pretty fucking old to be in 7th grade. cripes, that was like five or six years more - almost my whole life over again.

but she made a mean pot of mac & cheese. i'm not sure if she liked it or if it was just easy but i remember eating a heck of a lot of mac & cheese back then. they tell me canadians eat the most mac & cheese per capita in the world. the whole world. but not the solar system cause i'm pretty sure marvin the martian lives off the stuff.

went hiking before in the maine woods and liked it but it was hot so i stopped and i'm hoping i don't stop this time cause of the hot cause i'd like to do the whole thing - the whole of what i've planned, i mean. it's frickkin hot down there, though. 80's. cripes, it was in the 80's here in maine a few days ago. i can only imagine.

there are a lot of things i can only imagine. like glaciers the temperature of bath water and a warrant come back tour. but what i can imagine is my old tired body gimping along in the wilds of south virginia with inflammed lymphs and a runny nose and a cramped up charlie horse of a thigh. that's my lot in life i suppose and i shouldn't complain. i shouldn't complain because no one would listen anyway, is what grandpops would say and he is probably right which is why you should relay all complaints in the form of a story or anecdote. people won't mind that as much. everyone likes a good story - even if it's a bitter one. no one likes a whiner. whiner.

put that in your pipe and smoke it. smokeo

motivation.

I think if the everyone had a morning commute with the batman theme song as it's soundtrack the world would probably be a better place. I know the Port City would be better off with a mansion on the hill and a batphone in the mayor's office. Would give chitwood a rest.