and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

Sometimes I worry too much. My answering machine once said "If you're calling for Matthew Higgins He DOESN'T FUCKING LIVE HERE ANYMORE" but I quickly changed it because maybe the president will call someday.

Shu' up. It could happen.

I put on "Hey, I guess I'm not around so leave a message" and it's stayed there for a long time but I still get 1-800 reference calls for the dude above. I figure this way - not leaving my name or number - I'm leaving things open for mistakes. Like someone dialing the wrong number and leaving me a lengthy message about how I'm just not doing it for her anymore and last night's sex marathon only happened cause she was high and couldn't say no and that she was moving to her mother's place because she needed to get the hell out of this god foresaken city. Uhh.. yah, whatever.

Mistakes are fun. Funny even.

But worrying is just a pain in my ass. I worried last night about my problems with money - my obsession if you will. I worried that I was missing out on parts of life that somehow were hidden to me. I worried that working 50 hour weeks just because might not work out the way I want it to.

Why is it that I work for, crave, save money only to see the bottom line grow - but never spend it? What's the point of a chocolate cream pie if no one eats it? Maybe I'm the mistake, who knows.

"So I'm going to go spend today" I tell myself.. but even now, I can tell without even thinking about it, I won't be able to come up with anything I really want. Even though there are CDs to buy of my favourite bands and there are movies to buy of my favourite actresses and there is food to buy from my favourite chefs. I won't buy any of it because I know, deep down inside, it ain't gonna solve nothing baby.

Material wealth is a like a doppelganger - providing sympathetic company yet casting no reflection in a mirror. It's like an outfit - you are still yourself under your clothes.

Ach! The horror. I am naked... hmm, I should get that mole removed.

So what should I buy? Pray tell. I noticed you're scared of the truth as I've received not even a single question. Perhaps that is why Tony is so popular? He never tells the truth. The truth is boring.. or hurtful.. or just plain a pain in the ass. Is that it?

Run along. tony is waiting. but tell me what to buy first.