and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

Sometimes work is just that: work. Physical or mental effort. Effort: Something done or produced through exertion.

And I don't have to define Exertion for you.

Tried to write you all a big long post about radiohead, beastie boys, and the state of commercial radio but it was.. well.. exerting to say the least.

Tried to work one too many 50 hour weeks and I think it's catching up with me.

Do you ever get up in the morning and just feel UGH? my friend asks me. Well, yah.. we all do.

What makes you happy?

And you?

Nothing he says. What about you? He pleads with me as if it will solve all his problems - knowing what makes me happy.

Friends, I tell him, make me happy.

sometimes.

Riding my bike, I continue, makes me happy.

again, sometimes.

Nothing, unfortunately, is true all of the time in this life; only most of the time and even then it's only partly true.

Fuzzy logic.

If all of the people are happy some of the time and most of the people aren't most of the time.. well, then even that some of the time most of the people are only somewhat happy, mostly.

You know what I mean?

Happiness. Contentment. Satisfaction.

These aren't problems for the scientific calculator. It goes deeper than that and onto different planes. Like giant sets of multivariable equations - matrices thrown together not in two or even three dimensions but many dimensions to the point we can not even grasp the most basic of them for indeed each element within the matrix represents a matrix itself and perhaps a child of that matrix is in fact the parent of it as well.

There is incest in the system and it's widespread and so we all have the same neurotic depressions, albeit at different times, that ripple through the system like glitches cracking and popping on a thousand tiny records playing in your head.

And the sky is the color of a tv tuned to a blank channel.

So I really shouldn't complain because I have one of those newer tvs where a blank channel means sky blue and sky blue means blue sky and that means summer is here to bring me back to the place I know, the place I love.

For brief periods in my life I feel like a country time lemonade commercial all summer and rolling fields with dogs playing on the beach and dandelion seeds floating on the breeze - wonderful but melancholy because there is always, invariably, a countdown to the end of summer..

the end of innocence...

the end of the brief period and back into the long cold wintery darkness and questioning thoughtlessness.

If yah know what I mean.

Personally I think it's a big joke and I just don't know the punch line yet because I haven't been paying close enough attention. I am now, though, so it's only a matter of time...

before I get the joke..

about the guy, in the city, with a few of his pals and everyone's wearing masks, right? So this one girl says to the three guys "I want to be famous, damn this worldwide disease" and one of the guys says well come here, to this city, and you'll be famous and we will celebrate you and your disease.

And she said "It's not my disease"

And they all said "Oh.."