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Michael considered fate at 12:53   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

tony is my arch nemesis.

he just posted this link to a website with all the seinfeld episodes for download. Allll of them. That's about 180 episodes, if I figure right.

he is my nemesis because he posted it, so now it will be popular. popular enough to make for slow ass downloads and maybe even popular enough to get the RIAA/MPAA/MOFGA black suits on the poor sites ass and then the poor site will be no more... no more for my downloading and viewing pleasures.

okay, maybe not the mofga black suits. i'm not even sure the mofga's have black suits. just overalls and carhart work suits.

you know a real farm when the coat rack by the door has a few wool-lined carhart work suits hanging there.. that stink... like barnyard animal feces.

you know a real farm when there is a radio in the barn always tuned in to some station, but at such a low volume you gotta strain to hear it.

you know a real farm even better, even more real, if the radio is sorta weird like an alien ship might be flying low overhead cause the electric fence regulator makes the radio waves go funny.

you know a real farm when you learn not to pee on the fence.

ouch.

so maybe the mofga's don't have black suits but the damn RIAA and MPAA do and they think they know your business.. they think they can get in your business.. so guess what? chances are they are going to get in your business.

it's a shame, cause all I want to do is watch some seinfeld episodes.

One time, back a year or two ago, I spent a good 3 or 4 months downloading and cataloging every single episode for myself.. for my sanity. I grabbed what I could when I could and when I had enough from 1 to 15 to burn to disc I burnt 'em to disc and then wiped them clean so I had room for the next batch.. then I'd do 16 through 30..

Half of them were about 40megs and the other half were around 25 so I am convinced that out there, in the world, there were exactly two people recording and encoding seinfeld episodes and those two people are where every single seinfeld episode on this here innernector came from. one or the other.

So when I was downloading, half my copies were 25 meg and half were 40 but I didn't care cause seinfeld was never about the detail, never about the picture quality or the sound even.. it was about the raw human comedy... and what the means, folks, is those two people.. whomever.. wherever.. for whatever reasons they did what they did.. they're my heros.

See? Even you, today, can be a hero. It doesn't take much. It takes a little effort and forethought and desire and maybe a little work..

but even you can be a hero.

I burned every last one of those seinfeld episodes to disc and when I was done I had a stack of 15 or so and I looked lovingly at them and thought, yes, i am done, amen.

and then I promptly misplaced them.

I don't know where they went or who took them or if they are just under the bed.. but I just looked under the bed and I don't know who could/would/want to take them from me, take them like ripping my first born child from my very hands. bastards. but the bottom line is they are gone and i am a hollow man for it. a hollow hollow man.

thank you tony,

curse you tony,

thank you tony.

Curses!

Someday, somewhere, I will come upon my beautiful discs.

Someday, in front of some tv, I will have a marathon.

Someday, sometime, with sticky popcorn butter on my fingers and empty soda cans around me like praying subjects, I reach a higher plane.

Someday, I will die a happy man.