and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

Last night I stumbled home - having made it not one but two whole days drink free but tripping on the third - to the warmth of my bed and the glow of my iBook and what did I discover?

Well, firstly - I had some email. This alone was enough to make me wonder. The cosmos, I figured, must be mis-aligned. To make matters more curious the email was even personal.. surprise surprise.

Secondly, as if my world was not discombobulated enough, the email involved proposals and wedding announcements and requests for best man applications.

One of my bestest buddies from school is tying the knot.

I tie an awful lotta knots myself.. shoelace knots. sailing knots. Can knots. Enough knots to know that if you pull hard enoough then they are awfully hard to get undone later on.

Which is why I say that if you are going to tie a knot then you best be sure you want that knot. Knots are for holding. Sticking. Securing. Best to be secure in your securing before you do any tying..

People are tying knots all over. Sometimes is scares the bejeesus out of me because it's such a large and hairy life choice. It's more final than a car payment, more final than a 30-yr mortgage, sometimes even more final than a murder sentence depending on how your lawyer swings it.

But that's just how I look at it. I'm not religious by any means but marriage strikes me as a final decision regardless and if you're going to do it then do it right and no messing around. Marriage, you see, is like killing someone. Killing two people, really, so if you're going to do it you best be prepared to accept the consequences.

Okay.. so two people get killed, sure, but two people are born from the same event and a third - the incarnation of the marriage itself - makes it's way into the world and joy and happiness and all that... It's great and grand.

Then they get divorced.

The thing with divorce is it's all death and killing and murder.. ain't no one getting born from that and if you think there is then you are certified. If you married someone you now want to divorce than you were dead to begin with, in my eyes.

I hate having to ask people if their parents are divorced or not.

I hate having to wonder if they're fucked up because of it.

Everyone is all fucked up but it's easier to just figure they just ate too much lead paint as a kid. The physicality of the paint makes for less psychological trauma... there isn't any blaming going on.

Sometimes the easiest way to deal with a problem is to have absolutely no one to blame.

So if you're going to tie the knot than make sure you've practiced it. Make sure you're comfortable with it and that it's the right kind for your application. Don't go securing that yacht with a slip knot because you'll be crying tomorrow when it's in the rocks.. And I don't want to be there to see it.

The last thing I have sympathy for is a broken knot.

It's one thing to have the rope itself break - but to have the knot slip out - that's poor workmanship. That speaks mounds about the lack of quality one puts into their efforts. Poor form, really.. poor form.

So having said it all.. I believe I'm in the running for Best Man. Sounds like a lot of work and a lot of expectation.. and I can't honestly imagine what that would be like.. a new experience for sure but I'm willing to stand up and give it a shot because I've sized it all up..

and this particular knot looks pretty strong.