and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

A long time ago I promised myself I would stop biting my finger nails.

Firstly, it is sort of unbecoming. I guess no one likes the sight of chewed up fingers, all stubby with half-moons peaking out from under the cuticles.

Secondly, it's just a pain in the ass habit. No one wants to watch someone biting their nails - it's like watching a dead man's walk. That nervous twitch of the needy and unsure.

People who bite their nails all have a way about them. Slightly shifty. Lots of sideways glances. They're used to watching people with their heads slightly tilted, fingers curled up in a half-fist and crammed into their mouths, eyes darting about. No one likes getting caught chewing their nails.

But if there is one thing nail biters can't stand more than being caught it's not biting their nails.. So we bite. We get caught and like a deer in headlights we freeze, mid-bite, and stare. We might stop, let our hand fall to our side or even pretend to be wiping our nose or scratching our chin.. but if there is anything a nail biter can't do it's ignore that half-chewed nail.

We always go back. Leave no hang-nail behind. It's sort of an unspoken mantra, like the army but only without all the heroics involved. It is, afterall, just a goddamn finger nail.

We don't need them, you see. These nails are residual. Left-overs. We need them about as much as a house-cat whose worst survival problem is getting more friskies into the bowl.

Okay, maybe more. There are, afterall, CD cases to open and stickers to be peeled and panels to be pryed open. There are backs to scratch - maybe claw even, grrr - and in a pinch - lotto ticket winnings to reveal.

So what? So they might be useful but they're also more stress relief than a punching bag and less trouble than breaking dinner-wear. So we bite. We chew. we pull and nibble and sure, it makes some people cringe.

Some people stare and wonder aloud how much it hurts or how we can manage to get them down to the stubbly length that we do.. they just don't understand. Nothing to do about it. Just chew. The rest of it works itself out.

I promised myself I would stop biting my finger nails today. I promised no more tearing and pulling and snipping. I suppose in order to do that I'll have to replace my missing nail-clippers. I suppose I'll have to stop being a nervous wreck. Stop the anxious chatter and snap out of it.

I promised myself I would stop biting my finger nails today.
I promised myself I would stop biting my finger nails today.
I promised myself I would stop biting my finger nails today.