and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

I don't know how people do it sometimes.

I really don't.

Going out every night. Eating out every day. Getting up and doing their laundry and making sure there aren't any dust bunnies under their bed. Sleeping 5, maybe 7 hours a day and working 9 and then off to the gym to kill themselves for that roast beef at lunch. Then off to the bar or the restuarant and into the late night diner and out onto the street.. walking down towards home or maybe riding in a cab. Climbing in bed with whomever and waking early enough to sneak out, maybe a note, and into yet another cab and off to yet another day of drudgery.

And they're happier? Maybe. But they spend an awful lot of cash, I bet. I know two people who make about the same amount of money. I won't say who or how much but one of them manages to spend about every penny and then some. They go out and eat out and buy clothes and pay for people. The other person I know who makes the same amount of money doesn't nearly spend so much. Cooks more. Eats in more. Drinks less. Splurges less.

I'd like to say one of them is happier than the other. I'd like to say one is good and the other is evil because if there is anything that humans can understand it's your basic good and evil. I'd love to be able to say "Look, this one is right. This other one is wrong." But I can't because I'm not so sure there is a huge difference. They live in the same town. They go out to the same bars. They both worry about money and they both worry about girls. Every once in awhile they don't worry and they just have fun. Not always together or on the same night or in the same way but what I'm really saying is that it really is all the same. There is very little difference there.

I know a guy who can spend and spend and spend if it's on plastic. He'll slap that thing down any time all the time without even the slightest thought as to the process that will begin to happen the second that little card is swiped through the machine. The millions of little electrical signals that will criss-cross the country. The calculations that will be done. The paper that will be printed and mailed and thrown away and mailed again and again and the phone calls. The funny thing about it all is that if you give him a wad of cash, some green he can actually feel and hold, he clams up. Things become a little too expensive. He clutches the money close to him and doles it out sparingly. He looks for bargains. He counts his change.

I'm just the opposite. I don't know why. If I have cash in my pocket then someone else has cash in their hands and my pocket is empty. It's almost an automatic instantaneous situation. Like a time-warp holodeck light beam thing. Money goes in the pocket, money is scanned.. split into a billion tiny pieces of light - not even light but pieces of light. particles of particles. The money then flows out of the pocket - straight through the cotton and the jean and the polyester, around the fibers and over the hand (placed protectively, as if it could), and out into the world. Maybe into someone else's pocket or into a bank or a store cash box or onto the street.. I don't know where.. just not here. If I have cash I spend it freely like it's water or air like it's a natural resource that flows and always flows and like a creek bed it may dry up but wait long enough and once again it will flow and flow.

Plastic though is my bottle neck. Everytime it goes down on the counter, every time I scribble out my name I'm painfully aware of the implications. I spend sparingly and with regret and never ever do I like doing it.

The most fun I've had spending money was always in cash.

But some people... I just don't know how they do it. They get a thrill from spending.. anything, really. They spend time and money and effort and they like it. They put everything into it. Shopping, it's a lifestyle. Some people are born to shop and that's all they do for their whole lives. They're shopping for shoes and clothing and cars and husbands and wives and lives. But mostly lies.

All lies.

Big fat greenback lies.