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        20031126   

It's that time of year again
Michael considered fate at 12:06   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
See here in Maine the weather changes. When the leaves fall off the trees and we can see our breath in the air and intricate patterns of frozen water crystals paint themselves on our car windshields at night then we know it's about thanksgiving time. Time to be thankful for the turkey we have and the cranberry sauce and the mashed 'taters and all those goddamn dishes we're going to have to do. It's time to enjoy football - which around here means cold and muddy fields with the fans wrapped in scarves and mittens.

Nothing in the thanksgiving book says anything about palm trees.

Tomorrow I fly out to California. Right into the heart of the beast - LA - and then up to Isla Vista to enjoy some quality sit-down time with my man Alex and his rubics cubes, kite-surfing crap, frisbees, and odd theories on human nature. Yah see, he is an evolutionary psychology PhD.. and I think that basically means he makes up ideas about why humans think and act the way they do.. and then he tries to contort those theories for his own uses: mainly to pick up women. Or undergraduate girls, as the case may be. If you asked him he would tell you it's working out for him. If you asked me he's just getting older and a little more mellow so the chicks can stand him a little easier now.

But I'm going to California. Nothing, nothing at all, about California says Thanksgiving. Nothing at all about California says Christmas either. Maybe, maybe, way up in the Sierra Nevadas there is a nugget of Christmas cheer... but even then I'm skeptical.

Nothing about Alabama says Xmas, either. Or Mississippi or Arizona or Florida.. Especially not Florida. Nothing about Waikiki or Santa Fe or Savannah or Texarkana says the slightest thing about Christmas and I'll be honest - I don't like talking about it because it makes me depressed.

It just goes to show you where this country came from. It's New England puritanical roots, based in cold and suffering and religious persecution. And that's why we have a white Christmas.

Go down to Mexico and I bet you they don't give each other holiday cards with pictures of snow on them.

Here, though, in the States.. even in Arkansas.. we sing "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow" and we set up Christmas trees - evergreens, mind you, a cold weather tree - and we even frost our windows with fake ice.

So it's no wonder that we live in a country that is having some serious growing pains. It's no wonder that things like sex and smut, becoming ever more pervasive in our society, really gets our goat sometimes. It's no wonder that 60-Minutes tries to make the adult industry sound so scary.. because we're rooted in the puritanical soil of our forefathers.

And though there may be people who stand out, stand up, and yell loudly: "I like porn"... there are the silent many who are still living, in their minds, at plymouth rock.. still thankful for their turkeys and their mashed potatoes but still willing to cut the throats of the very indians who saved them because afterall, the indians are different..

plus.. those indians didn't wear much in the way clothes.. kinda skanky if you ask me..


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