and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

tony says: "..im not sad. i should be. i should be a fucking wreck, but im not. im probably living the life of the fool in the famous tarot card picture. hes about to go off the cliff and hes looking up in the clouds smilingly even though his dog is barking its head off trying to warn him of his imminent doom..."

If that's a fool than what am I? I am the guy walking towards that cliff knowingly and with melancholy, hoping a bridge will be built before me as I take my first steps into nothingness but not believing even my own hope. I am the man, foolish some may say, who unreligiously believes in certain truths in this world and hopes with all my hope that those truths will be born out in my life. I don't think they will.

Hope is called hope because it suggests a certain sort of disbelief. True hope is a wish for that which will not happen. Otherwise, it's just desire. Desire is the real world version of hope - the kind where you hope you make it to the bus on time. Real hope is unrealistic - the kind where you hope this iraq thing will turn out alright or you hope that she'll learn to love you and love you forever and ever.

Have you ever noticed no one ever hopes that they will love forever and ever? It's always disbelief in the other person and never questioning one's own resolve.

I would rather be an old and miserable man alone and tired and sad, than a divorcee. I do not ever want to take my love for a person away from them - to me it is an eternal gift. I do not hope I have the resolve to love one person for the rest of my life, because I know and believe I have it. It's in me.

I do hope I can find the person who sees in me a good and worthwhile person. I hope I can find a person who can love me for me, for all the right reasons, not just because I am there and convienent and easy.

I want my love to be inconvienent and hard and I want to have to work for it so that I am reminded every single day of the worth of that love.

I do not want my love to be cheap.

True romantic love, James Jones writes in From Here to Eternity, is an illusion.

I hope.. oh, how I hope, I hope he is wrong.