and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

Mike, I'll be very dissapointed if you don't at least propose going to alaska with her. How many chances do you get to propose something like that?

You know, I absolutely would if I thought there was even a 5% chance.. but there isn't. She needs to get out of here and live a little and travel and see the world and do whatever she needs to do.

I'm not so sure that me going with her would be the best thing for her,

and more importantly,

I'm sure that she wouldn't ever consider it as even a slight possibility. I think this falls under one of those "i gotta do this for myself" things.

So the result of me asking would be a) inviting myself, b) sounding desperate, c) sounding a little crazy.. I don't know if i can do that.

The working title of my unwritten book is called "Real Men Don't Turn Around"

If I could ask her in a way that she would take seriously and understand that I meant it seriously, but was at the same time light and with no pressure, I would do it. But I'm not sure it can be done. I feel the question would do more damage than good.

The way I know these things is because I put myself in her shoes. I've been there before - having someone infatuated. It's nice, but if you don't like that other person (whether because you aren't ready for them, or you just don't like them) then questions like these just make them sound weaker to me.. almost pathetic?

Believe me, I feel like the decision I'm making is the one that will give me the best chance at eventually being with her - as small as that chance may be.

I told her she had to make me one promise: That 1 year, 2 years, 3 years down the road, when she has done some soul searching and traveling and thinking and when she is ready to share her life with someone.. ready to love.. I made her promise that she would call me and at least give me six months - a _real_ chance - to win her heart.

That's a lot more of a cop out than moving to Alaska... It's the type of promise that only gets kept in the movies. But I don't think any part of her is having the fantasy right now that involves me going to Alaska with her.

She wants to go this leg of the trip alone.