and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

Thing about Monday's is that they come around once a week. Every week. Like clockwork. I've said this before so I won't elaborate too much but the point is that they can be a bit of a bummer if you're not willing to work with them with the right frame of mind.

Today, I don't have the right frame of mind. Sometimes I think about the philantropy my company does without even knowing it - letting me sit here and type out blog posts like some sort of lamo neo-graphy that someone could liken to art if they were so inclined - but deep down I do know it's a bunch of crap. I just wish it werent.

Honestly, wish life could be a little more little more. Wish it could have a little more spice and flav and maybe some zing. If it were up to me it would be sunshine and down-pour and nothing inbetween.

And I wish people didn't let me down so much.

I wish I got phone calls every day from all the people I let down every day. I wish they would call me up and tell me that I've done wrong, or worse, done nothing at all, and that I've failed to meet expectation. How do I know I'm doing a good job if I never get a performance review? How can I fix that which I do not know is broken? I wish I didn't let people down.

Honestly, wish I could get these phone calls so I could honestly address each and every case seriously like it's own seperate entity. I could say no, in fact I don't like you very much so you are right, I am not doing a very good job and I'm not ever going to do a very good job. there. now you know. I may be a lot of things but I like to think I'm honest. Honesty is thrillingly cathartic to me.

Wish that I could call everyone up and say you, you, and you.. you disappoint me and maybe they'd all say "fuck you mike, we don't care. you aren't important to us"... and in fact that would be grand. I could learn this and move on. Improve my social efficiency. Learn not to waste time in the wrong places. Get out to the right spaces.

But people are scared of the honesty. Scared of what people will think. Scared of feelings - honest feelings. Some call it tact. Fuck tact, I say. I gave up tact a few years ago and I've never felt better.

Best Friends is an interesting label. Heck, Friends is an interesting label. The very idea is an oddity. Society is an oddity. Socialization above and beyond a procreational level is an incredibly interesting thing. How this formation even builds itself is fascinating to no end.

But I question it every day. I question it's honesty and faithfulness. I question it's reality. You'd be amazed at who reads this blog.

...and who doesn't.

And that's when I get bummed out; on drizzly mondays.