and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

I'm about done with the Blogging 101 lecture series. I think 10 is a nice round number - so one more to go. Plus, when I come back 2 years from now and get interested to see what the hell I wrote "way back when" there won't be too much to sift through.

Thing with this blog crap is that it's all there.. moving.. rolling.. but like a lake that turns over every spring - all that crap is still there somewhere. Maybe not right on the surface but it's there. Piled among the refuse and junk it's just waiting to be rediscovered.

Just think what would happen if you became famous. Imagine if Kurt Cobain, before his rise to fame, kept an innocent little blog. Imagine the scrutiny every single word of that blog would get after his little secret got out.

I guess what I'm saying is it's all important. The here. The now. The there. The then. The will be. The dude at the bar last night was about the now. He was about the energy - the connection you can realize that you have with this world if you really want to.. and he was unapologetic about it. "You may not get it," he said. "You may think I'm crazy," he mused. "But that's OK. It doesn't matter. You believe what you want to and I believe what I want to and we can both be right but I know for a fact that I'm here, now and this is my experience and that's what I can bring to the table is my experience." Sure, he was a rambling dude but he had a great point. He explained that we can be told a lot of things. We can learn all sorts of "facts" in books. We can hear about happenings. But we only really know our own experiences.

"Fuck what some guy read in a book!" he exclaimed, "He doesn't know shit."

And while he wasn't perhaps as eloquent as he could have been he certainly made the point to me. Experience. Live the here the now the forever.. or just don't bother at all. It's really not worth half-assing it.

So I lived the here the now the forever tired cause I haven't been getting the kind of sleep I should be getting and now I'm living the here the now the coffee-induced wake-up call. I'm on cup 5 or 6 and I'm a little warm, the flourescents are a little bright, the keys tap-tap-taping on the 'board are a little loud but I'm A-fucking-live. Alive.

My limited life experiences - a mere 25 years of them - tells me that as I try to write for an audience - Blogging 101 or subtle between-the-line innuendos to particular people I know are reading - I will fail to do the one thing that made people come and start reading in the first place: being me.

Blogging 101 is not me. Blogging 101 is the perhaps not condescending but at least a little pretensious side of me.. a side that doesn't really have much root in my true personality (no matter what peole might think). In my mind I'm modest to a fault and I'm as unsure about this so called life gig as the next guy.

The next exercise is to try and write without thinking about it.