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Query Results - Problem Reporting

Michael considered fate at 18:59   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

I got a lot of problems no doubts no half-way reasoning no question no doubt about that... sure. I got a rash, man.. I got a rash.

But chicks man..

Chicks are fuuucccccckkked up.
Fucked UP! man

bANANANANA: Alex almost called you today from my cell phone
BritCoal: Oh? why didn't he?..
BritCoal: cause he is fucking FACIST PIG SCUM?
bANANANANA: sure
bANANANANA: or cause he thought you weren't at work anymore
BritCoal: why wouldn't I be at work?
bANANANANA: i dont think he knows your work schedule very well
bANANANANA: he seems to think you go to work at 7 in the morning
BritCoal: what an asshole
BritCoal: he's such a minute whore
BritCoal: just like in that donald trump verizon "in" commercial
BritCoal: he's that guy
BritCoal: that little weasel guy
BritCoal: "but my free minutes didn't start till 9pm whaaaaawhaa"
bANANANANA: he doesn't have free nights and weekends and I think that is his problem really
BritCoal: his problem is that he is a fag
bANANANANA: whoa
BritCoal: whoa
bANANANANA: i dont think i can talk to someone with such hateful thoughts
bANANANANA: especially about their best friend
BritCoal: hateful?
BritCoal: how is that hateful?
BritCoal: it's constructive criticism.
BritCoal: and if your best friend can't constructively criticize you
BritCoal: then they aren't much of a friend, are they?


I'm sick as a dog.. however and whyever dogs are sick, I can't say.. but I've been nursing what is most likely a bronchitis infection for a few weeks now. It's getting old. Luckily, I stopped to look it up on the innnernector for shits and giggggles and you know what it told me? You know what? It said "Severe cases may also cause general malaise and chest pain."

Well I guess I know what my problem is.

Went around for the last week using that line. Everytime some asshole would comment on my cough like it was the weather - "Bad cough yah got there" I'd say "Yah.. looks like bronchitis.. which explains why I'm so lazy"

Huh?

No one got it. Even after I explained it. But it's really funny. To me anyway.

Regardless, I closed over 200 PR reports this week. That's redundant (like PIN Number) for Problem Report. Which is another name for bug report - like a problem in a piece of software.. Well I kicked 200 of those bad mothers in the teeth this week, malaise and all.

So there.

And as a reward I'm drinking till alcohol bursts out the top of my head this weekend. Even though I am in my spring detox period. Even though I haven't drank since March and I'm not supposed to till May 31st, my birthday, when I will get right toasted on one can of miller lite and a bottle of Boone's Farm cause I'll be that much of a lite weight.

get it?

lite weight.

Hah.

BritCoal: AHAHAHAHA
BritCoal: beers in the ears
BritCoal: Nahnanana
gcXYX: awesome
gcXYX: sounds like a great weekend
BritCoal: you sound like a great weekend

It also doesn't help that there will be visitors from foreign countries this weekend and visitors from the south - some even Nascar fans. Drinking of lite beer is not really a question, at this point, but a fact - despite the futurness of this weekend and the inevitable discussion of how one can never predict the future (ask morgan stanley - past gains are no guarantee of future returns). I can, with no question in my mind whatsoever, guarantee the excessive drinking of lite beer.

SXyxYXY: am in a bad mood and not talkative
SXyxYXY: I will talk to you later
SXyxYXY: *sigh

If I had a dollar for every..

Oh why bother? They're all crazy if you ask me.

PxzzzYXYZ: hehe, camera club
PxzzzYXYZ: send me a pic of your ass!
PxzzzYXYZ: this is our ass collection
BritCoal: yah
BritCoal: exactly

Now I must go and clean my apartment for the impending guestial visits. There is blood.. and girls.. they generally don't like the blood. My roommate cut himself. He will not tell me exactly how he cut himself but luckily he talks to himself constantly. If I am quiet as a mouse I will sneak up on him and listen into his conversation as he tells himself the story about how he cut himself. He'll go on about how he was doing something in the cupboard and something fell and he cut himself - only he'll include details because, since he is talking to himself, he won't know the story and will therefore be interested to hear all the details of it. He'll talk about how he bled all over the bathroom and then bandaged himself with duct tape. Duct tape. Medicare has nothing on this household. NOTHING.

But I must clean up the blood.

And buy a 30-rack of Busch.

Maybe Busch Light... or is it lite? I'm baffled to the ends of time when my tiny little pea-sized brain tries to calculate a reasonable explaination for the existence of Busch Lite in this universe. Baffled.

Sixty and sunny
Here in Maine
Fucking Funny
Just the same

Like it was yesterday
Or just last week
When I heard them say
It's beer we seek

And off for cases
We up and went
Did up our laces
Hard cash we spent

Beer we drank
Beer we spewed
Then we drank
another feud

Amen

Over'n'out