This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License.                             the guys: philogynist jaime tony - the gals:raymi raspil

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Conversion
Michael considered fate at 12:26   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
@ the known universe:

Brian laughed and then suddenly asked: "Would you be pissed if I joined the Hare Krishnas?"

"Ha. Yeah, right."

"No, seriously."

"Nah," I told him. "I wouldn't be mad. You'd be just another friend I lost. I'd just write your name on the growing list."

"No, man, you wouldn't lose me. We could still hang."

"Not if you tried to convert me, we couldn't."


Shit man, you speak the truth brother. I don't know what they are putting in the water up here in Maine but I feel like all my friends are turning into intense religious types and, like Jaime, I don't mind anyone being intensely religious as long as they aren't going to try and convert me. The problem with conversions is things never come out quite right. Whether it's a database conversion or a program being converted from one operating system to another or if it's a truck chassis being converted for use in an SUV - it just never works perfectly. Data types get messed up. Program controls act differently in subtle ways. SUVs tip over.

And religious converts get some weird god-twitch. The twitch is subtle - I mean, minus all the new religious babble they spew, which is of course not-so-subtle. The twitch is just something slightly.. not the same.. and that's the part that gets me. It's a leeeetle too close to that icky feeling you get when you think about brain-washing or frontal lobotomies. Frontal lobotomies really freak me out, man.

Got talking with a friend last year about Easter and Passover and the history behind it all because, well, I'm as much a casual historian as the next guy. It's interesting. My friend explained to me Jesus coming back, etc, etc, which I all knew about in a vague sort of way. Then he asked if I'd like some material about it. "Material?" Like what, this guys gonna give me a history book? Yeah right. The bible. Which is fine, there is nothing wrong with the bible. As a book. A piece of literature. But when it comes with footnotes, bookmarks, and a thinly veiled attempt at conversion in the form of a thoughtful letter, well.. that's enough. I don't mind if you read the bible. I don't mind if I read the bible. I don't mind if we discuss the bible. I DO mind when you stop respecting my right to my own opinion (which is the disbelief in god) and I DO mind when you try, repeatedly and despite my insistence, to convert me. Let us just agree to disagree.

So my Easter friend asked me the other day,

"Have I ever shared my faith with you?"

Well, if you mean "is the only thing I ever talk to you about religion, or do I tie every conversation we have back to religion somehow?" then yes, man, YES, you have shared your faith with you. I didn't think that is what he meant, though, so I said,

"No, you haven't"

"Well I'd really like to get a chance to sit down with you and share my faith, would that be alright?"

I thought about this for a moment.. but not long enough. I'm a nice guy - or rather, outwardly so - and so my initial reactions to these sorts of things is just to humour people. So I said,

"Yah, sure, if you'd like to. I think you're barking up the wrong tree but you are welcome to."

What I meant to say was "No, you can't. I understand your faith as much as I want to and I, myself, am not a religious man so I would prefer it if you did not try to convert me to the ways of god. Thank you for the offer, though, and I hope you find someone nice to convert real soon. Have a nice day." But I didn't say that, of course. No, I didn't

So I guess what I'm saying is that no, man, you won't lose me. we can still hang. just don't try to convert me.


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