and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

Ain't nobody out there wants to hear about all the chicks I've banged or how many girls are all giggling on my couch at 2 AM so I won't even bother telling you at all. See? I respect your position. No problem.

What I can't respect sometimes is my own apathy about the whole deal, as if disinterest and lack of motivation were symptoms of anti-chauvanism and respect for women. Ain't saying I don't have either of those but I am saying that you can't sit around doing nothing, getting nowhere, and saying "Hey, I'm not a womanizer! Look, I've been on this couch here bombed out of my mind for the last three months. I haven't disrespected any women at all!" Yah, well, I'm no murderer either. Do I get a cookie?

And so it is, I fear, with the whole politics issue. Apathy, disinterest, disenfranchisement.. I got it.. you got it.. heck, I'm heading to Montreal and I might - yes, I say this knowing I seeth pure liquid hate from every pour whenever I hear the Bush name - I might not get around to sending in my absentee ballot in November. Can you believe that? Me... someone so sure about who needs to NOT be in office come Jan 1st yet I might not do a goddamn thing about it.

What scares me is the people who are going to show up at the polls.. and I'm not talking about the politically active or politically aware - heck, if you're aware and you wanna vote for Bush? It is a free country last time I checked so go right the goddamn fuck ahead and vote for that fucker, if you'd like.. I might not like you for it but I won't fault you for excersicing your right as an American. What really scares me, what freaks me right out are those uninspired sheep following along in the herd - the conservative catholics, the republican raised, the non-thinkers who could probably care less themselves but are so brainwashed that they will dutifully show up at the polling station, scratch their mark next to that awful awful name, and stumble back out into the sunlight no more aware of the fate they've just sealed themselves to as they are aware of what they ate for breakfast cause it's all a numb blinding fog to them.

Freaks me right out.

But back the women.. I Don't give a rats ass right now about being with one, especially in my transitory state, and the thought of some skank-ho in my bed turns my stomach, frankly. I'm almost sick of it all.. the bad breath, the awkward moments, the sleepless nights, the snoring, the mind questioning the soulless body.. gack, I'm sounding as if I have morals. Forgive me. What I mean is I just don't care sometimes, if it ain't gonna be for real.. and by real I mean real hot. That's just it. Most hookup sex is nowhere close to good sex and that almost makes me wonder if it's worth the bother. If, going in, I could see the future - could see the amazingly hot girl performing amazingly hot acts and pleasing me amazingly.. well, okay then. But they never do. I grab the sexpots, too.. the ones I'm pretty sure know what they are doing, are experienced in the ways of the world, have a sort of confidence in them that inspires haat sex (that's hot with an emphasis on hot).. and you know what happens? DO you know what happens when you pick a stranger up at a bar?

They're never what they seem. The most outwardly confident are often the most inwardly insecure and the most attractive the most shallow. Sure, exceptions, I know, but play the numbers my friend - what are the odds?

Any given day,

On any given night,

Everyone going home from a bar for a one nighter is probably holding hands with the same date: Insecurity.

It's an ugly beast, too, insecurity, which is why you always feel horrible the next morning when you wake up, roll over, and see Insecurity staring you back in the face. It's an unruly bed companion no matter how good it looks the night before with your large thick bud-lens'd beer-goggles. Insecurity doesn't walk you home the next morning, Insecurity doesn't make you breakfast in bed or kiss you good morning on your skanky-morning-breath-mouth just because.

Insecurity sneaks out at 5AM when you're snoring in your pillow. Insecurity kicks you out at 8AM, probably cause their significant other is on their way home. Insecurity probably takes your number but probably never calls you ever again because if there is one thing Insecurity is really trying to do.. it's trying to rally the troops. It's trying to increase it's army's numbers. It's trying trying trying to recruit you, too.

Uncle Insecurity Wants - YOU!

Which is why it's always amazing when, on that off-occasion, you find someone - maybe an acquaintance, maybe a friend of a friend, maybe even a strange. It's amazing when you're just feeling right about it and you realize that hey, two adults can have a nice time together and it doesn't necessarily have to mean anything and it doesn't necessarily mean you're a skank-ho or their a skank-ho. It's amazing when you realize you can treat that person with respect because they're treating you with respect and you're both on the same page so no harm, no foul, gotta get to work by 6AM - no problem, get up, go, leave a nice note, they'll be fine with it.

I was told once, by a wise man of the world that in life decisions you should always do what is the hardest. Always look life straight in the face, make eye contact, and be secure in your choice of the harder less travelled path. When it comes to one's security on the entire matter of decision-making, he had this rather pertinent thing to say:

Go to your local pub, have a pint, chat up a nice looking stranger, tell her your dilemma, have another pint, get her to toss a coin, and the first choice that jumps into your head while the coin is in the air is what you should choose. It's simple and it might get you laid - which is always a more immediate struggle, deserving of our utmost attention and respect. In other words, the easiest route is never the most rewarding and (to be very Buddhist here dude) your decision in this matter is largely irrelevant - rather, it is the manner in which you struggle to embrace your reality that really counts.

Well said, chap. Well said.