having trouble at work.. probably because I'm leaving it behind like an old unfinished art project and, really, once you know you're leaving you stop trying - don't you?
Sometimes the stubborness gets me like I have something to prove to someone so I'll stay all afternoon, all evening, all night, whatever it takes to get things done and I'll be sweaty and tired and ready for bed when I'm done but I can say, yah, it's done. done. done.
done.
done.
But I can honestly say there is no done here. no finish line. no cheering crowd, that's for sure.. and if there is anything my life needs (everyone's, no?) it's more cheering crowds.
plus it doesn't help that i'm not really leaving - only physically for the time being and trying to keep it going, remotely, telecommuting, briefly each week, like a bad long-distance relationship wilting dying drooping on the vine.
Isn't that more realistic, in a way? More for me, I guess. Nothing is abrupt like that in life - not my life. I've told you. Things here happen like in a blessed little town out of a cheery little fairy tale. It's all slow and steady.. getting older like molasses running down hill.. seeing death up ahead like a giant tractor-trailer barreling down on you at 100mph only, yes, it's 100mph - you've checked your speedometer - but it's allll in slowwww motiioonnn.
So you know what happens.
And just like I see the giant tractor-trailer I also see the cars, the SUVs, the motorbikes, the sedans, the wagons. I see the job right now for the next few months and I see the lousy lazy job I'll do but sporadically, like summer sprinkles from a clear blue sky, I'll have bouts of intense production.
I'm just hoping they'll make up for the rest of it.
I like summer sprinkles.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License.
the guys: philogynist jaime tony - the gals:raymi raspil
