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For My Pal Alex.

Michael considered fate at 18:03   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

So Alex, living in his alternate form of reality, thinks I should get you all to buy me an iPod just like Tony did. Thing is, Alex might not realize that Tony gets about a gazillion hits more than I do a day. Also, I'm not particularly poor (not that Tony is, mind you) or in need of a new iPod, cause I have one..

But I do have a brokedick one. It's an old 2nd gen 20giger which works great, has good battery life after two years (despite the fact that many warn they don't last nearly as long) and it is even full of music - about 16gigs worth. What is so brokedick about it is the LCD screen.. not realizing it wasn't exactly water-resistent, I went running in the rain with it once. Well - correction - I went running and it started raining while I was out there. Downpour style. Ever since then if I am running in the rain I'll wrap the iPod in a plastic bag, cause I'm (semi)smart like that.. but that first mistake so long ago was enough to ruin the screen forever. It works alright in that you can still make stuff out on it but I can barely see anything without the backlight, and even with the backlight there are odd artifacts that block out certain lines. Bummer.

So, don't buy me a new iPod.. how about just enough money to replace the screen on my current one? It's $85. Clearly I am a cheap bastard, as evidenced by my last post dissecting phone service options, so have a heart - throw a dog a bone - gimme a break - etc, etc.

Anything less than $5 and I'll give you a permenant link on this here website. For a $5 or more donation you will receive, above and beyond the link, any two of the following (your choice):

1) A postcard from me with a note and naked drawings (women, men, monkeys - your choice)

2) A blog post dedicated to you in which I rain my almighty praise upon you and yours.

3) A drunken phone call by me sometime between 1am and 4am EST (you'll need to include your phone number, of course)

4) A tiny wooden bear - this is a piece of memorabilia from my old ex.. it's been on the top of my bedroom door frame for about seven years "watching over" me, as she put it.. it's supposed to be good luck. Anyhow, I gotta get rid of it cause she is a crazy bitch but it just seems odd to throw it out. First come first serve, on this one.

Alright, now get to it.. Let us help show Alex how I can, in fact, get NO money out of my readership. Let us prove him wrong.

Also, let me warn you that if, on the off chance, you do donate, you will probably be the only one who does and then you'll look like a real schmuck, huh? Yah.. so watch out.