and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

But.. umm, I seem to have misplaced my instructions. They were right here just a minute ago. Something about just add water and .. and.. well, there was a second step but I've lost it now.

Anyhow, that's the kicker, ain't it? Can't climb out of the gutter if you don't know how. I think at some point there is a natural animalistic instinct just to climb, somehow, with little to no prior knowledge, but I think those are the desperate ones.. the reall desperate ones. And, really, that about explains a lotta the tweedles at the top if you ask me. I foot in their limo, and one in a gutter. One small tiny step away from sheer disaster. One falter and over you go, toppling down the mountain.

No one ever said there was a lotta room at the top.

Thing is, there is plenty of room down on the bottom, down in the thick of it where the backs are broken and the dirt is dug.. there's always room for one more. Like water flowing down hill.

And sure, you can give 'em stock incentive. You can give 'em raises and another 15 minute break. You can do whatever yah want but it'll only ensure that they work just hard enough to look like their working harder than the next guy and..

*poof*

It's all gone. 60, 70, 80 years down the drain with nary a blink of an eye and all for what? A job? A career? A family, house, and home? Security?

Security?! Come on.. you heard Bush, we can't trust no bodies, ain't no bodies gonna treat us with respect if'n we can't teach 'em some respect.

A ninny of a president but maybe's got something there: look out for yourself. Be proactive. Ain't no bodies else gonna bes doin it fer yah less'n the see in it somethin' for 'em.

knowhatimean?

Nah, it's alright.. I don't either. I'm just recovering from the scare with the boys (a-ok. tip top, 100%, I tried 'em out they work like new). And a nasty weekend of drinking (thursday night saturday night sunday night, more). And a heck of a robotics assignment.

And this damn itching feeling that nobody knows.. that nobody out there no matter how I might scream at them, nobody knows. Ain't good nor bad nor indifferent, just am, just here, just unknown.

I'd explain it all but I've been having a bad run of honesty lately and it's not treated me as well as it should. I'm just gonna stick with the vague thing for now and hope you manage.

Been here a few months and still, too lazy, buzy, tired, haven't found the time to go two blocks up - that's it, two blocks - and buy a guitar cord for my amp. Haven't had time to plug the stereo in or put my lamp up or even think, really.

Thinkings hard with all this information. It comes too fast now. Lightening speed without the thunder breaks - just the light zipping around - and I'm not talking the internet here, I'm talking the world. I'm talking about marching out there and joining the army of the world and fighting for your right to work and play, eat and sleep, breath and talk, always talk, always more information, always, sleeping, breathing and talking and always, always information. I'm talking about the need for speed - the bandwidth of your life - things, people, are getting more resolution.

If you're at the top, you suppose the information gets all the way up there? All of it? Every last drop? Do you think water dances uphill? Does a crow' caw at the crack of dawn in china cause a millionaire in California to croak on his morning cup? Is Madam Butterfly our Helga Hurricane?

Are you serious? It's fun to think about but the social fabric is just too pourous. It won't hold water. It'll hold a lot but it won't hold water all the way to the top of a mountain and back and because of that, you know who it is that's climbing up? You know who is sweating and baking in the sun and climbing, parched throat, with hunger in their eyes and dollar signs in their gut? You know who will inherit the world?

Only thing is they didn't tell you that the meak metamorphosis into the weak when they get there. Weak willed, weak stomachs, weak reasons for being at the top so it's that much easier when the next one comes along and kicks them off their thrown.

Testing. Practice. Training. Read, react, repeat. Like a big huge program slowly evolving itself.

People, my friends. I found the directions. It said just add water and people. Of course. My thinking on this had become so uptight. Yah, man, we duped ourselfs. In this day of oil and war it is still us - our own flesh, blood - we're the most important natural resource. We're the oil, we just can't see it..

Anyhow, had an argument about infrastructure the other day and just had to get that off my chest. Sorry.