and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

I sit here, somewhat late but not too late - manageably late, for a Tuesday, and I look around at the walls, the desk, the bed. There, right there on the desk, there sits a bottle of Bailey's and it's tempting, to be certain. Other things are tempting too. The glow of the television. The escape of Nostromo, which sits - still not finished - on my bedside table. The innernector. Goddamn the innernector. Always attractively tempting. Always hinting at joy, excitement, release, I dunno.. something.

None of it's real, though. That's the point. Or it's all very very real yet very much the same thing. I'm not sure if there is a real significant difference between those two ideas but you're probably getting the picture by now.

Don't matter none, buddy.

And it doesn't. Sure, the innernector might be fun, for a bit. I could get a buzz on and sit and sip and stare, into the baby-blue walls, until the excitement practically oozes out of me. I could pick up my guitar, close my eyes, strum one note for an hour and believe - really believe - that I'm hendrix up on a stage somewhere playing one helluva noteworthy intro. I could stand up on my wobbly knee and go over to get my beeping cell phone so as to figure out who - what strange mystery - has left me a message this time.

But really? I'd just like to enjoy the warmth of my bed for a bit. A good long bit, without any of that fun or excitement. I'm a little fun and excitement'ed out, quite frankly.

So that's what I'ma gonna try and do, I figure.. if that's alright with you. I'm gonna let the world go on spinning for me and I'll just get back on in a bit, after my little break there in my warm, cozy bed. That's alright with you, yah?.. if I snooze in my bed for a bit?

Well, I do appreciate the understanding I hope you know. I do. I really do. I don't mean to sound insincere or overly dramatic but it's important for me, sometimes, to be understood. More often than not, in fact. An unfortunate trait but what can you do about it, really? Ahh nothing. Nothing at all. Just accept, move on, get real cozy in bed and fugadaboughtit.

And that's what I'ma gonna do.

fugadaboughtit.