Last night I expounded on my cold water hypothesis to a post dinner crowd at my buddy's COOP. The colder the water you swim/play/shower in, the hungrier you are. The hungrier you are, the more you eat. The more you eat, the more you poop. The more you poop, the more of that lovely empty feeling you get. It's completely underrated. In fact, no one ever mentions that lovely feeling, and it's a fucking shame, because it's one of the great pleasures in life.
The crowd involved chicks that I knew would find poop talk inappropriate, and I feared lessening my chances of bedding one of them by continuing. But then I remember that I never get laid so I might as well do whatever the fuck I want.