and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

You know, one really is the lonliest number when you've got work to do, it's dark and stormy out, no one is around, and there ain't a soul on your IM list. It's a lonely number when you really don't want to do that work at all, when you've got all sorts of things on your mind, and the only person to talk to lives inside your head. It's what crazys are made of.

One is a lonely number when you just need a hug and your arms only wrap so far around yourself. I'm no sap, really, but even a fighter can admit that he needs a trainer, no?

Alright so maybe I am a sap. So shoot me. Instead of climbing up out of this hole of emotional crap as I get older I'm only digging myself deeper. Maybe it's the realizations you have as you get older - that the world really does mean nothing, that this society really is empty, that life really doesn't have a point - these things, you'd think they'd make you colder, harder, but they don't. They bring you in, they prop you up, and make you want to fight. They make you want to believe it all means something, or at least you can make something close to you mean something. A thing, a person, anything at all really. A passion.

So call it crazy, I dunno, but I don't think that makes someone mad. I think it makes them human. If we read the pyschology books literally then we'd all be crazy, wandering around believing things matter, believing that human suffering can stop, believing that we can live in a world full of peace and happiness, believing that the sun also rises and the moon sets and there is some sense of a goal about it, believing that we can make things better when in fact - there is no "better" and there is no "worse" for that matter, it's all made up - nothing really matters.

I'm not trying to be dark or cynical here, I'm actually saying, I'm actually admitting I'm a romantic, which makes me as looney as van gogh - just with two ears - but I'm okay with that. I'm saying I know it's wrong and to hell with that, I don't mind being wrong. I don't mind living in a world where things can get better. I don't mind living in this fantasy of mine because, really, what's this life for if not our fantasies? Where would we be if no one thought we had a chance? We are, by nature, crazy creatures, able to convince ourselves of the most absurd facts - like heaven and hell, ghosts, aliens, God? This is what makes us so great, gives us our drive. You think sane creatures came up with Star Trek? Well it's those same people, relatively speaking, that gave us the wheel, flight, teevees, and hell, computers. They had a dream.

I dream all the time, day in and day out, hour in and hour out, minute in and minute out. If I'm not dreaming than I'm not living because life, my friends, is a dream.. and I don't give a fucking hoot if it's not true. I gotta believe. I gotta be a stupid romantic boy that gives girls flowers and I gotta believe, I just do, I gotta believe that means something.

If I woke up one morning and believed - truly believed - that it may never happen, this passion of mine, well... I'd be dead, wouldn't I? That's my point. This life is a dream. You make things up in your mind - "I saw a ghost" or "I am fated to be with this person" or "I can build a spaceship" - and before you know it you're on the way to the moon. The only reason crazy people are crazy is because they're dreaming a different dream than everyone else. Black is white, up is down.

I dunno. My dreams, they're in technicolour. In my dreams there are a lotta trees and animals, flowers and butterflies, big oceans and small streams. In my dreams, the sun shines through the wet of a thunderstorm and on the other side out comes a rainbow. In my dreams, there is a girl next to me that is talking to me - not at me, but to me - and she is teaching me things about this world that I couldn't learn from anyone else. Of course she is beautiful and her smile burns through me like the August sun and on the other side out comes a rainbow. I look at her and I see the dream, and I say fuck it - I don't care - I'm gonna keep on dreaming this dream. Don't wake me up. Even if the world is ending, the sky is falling, the apocalypse is now, don't wake me up. I'm a gonna keep on dreaming this dream cause it's just that beautiful.

It's just that goddamn beautiful.