and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

one of my problems with life is my constant urge to stop whatever i am doing and go do something else. some people would try to tell you that's called ADD, but it's not. i know myself enough to know that i have some increduble powers of concentration. this, however, is a problem of a different sort. basically, it's the voice in my head that tells me whatever i am doing could be done later, and that there are more important things going on right now somewhere else.

take, for example, my trip up decarie this afternoon to purchase somosas. i drove out there to pick up a huge batch for the impending superbowl extravaganza i'm throwing tomorrow and the whole time i couldn't help but think that maybe my time would be better used in securing buffalo wings. or nachos. i dunno.... and then, sitting in this little indian restuarant, it occurred to me that there very well could be hundreds and hundreds of somosas in that very building with me, right then, and there. and then i thought maybe i was doing the right thing.

when i ordered up the 100 somosas i wanted the guy looked at me crooked and said

"100?!?"

"Sure, 100." I replied.

"For here?" he asked me incredulously.

"Uh, no. To go please."

I was confused because I was lead to believe that people normally walk into this place and order up large numbers of somosas. He was treating me like quite the oddball. In the end, they were running low on somosas so i was stuck with just 50 of them. or 40. whatever, so small number not exactly equal to 100.

maybe I should have been doing something else.

never is this feeling more so than when i am sitting and just relaxing. not talking to anyone, not watching tv, not reading, nothing. just sitting. i rather enjoy it, really, if i can get my head wrapped around it but most of the time it just wanders - my mind that is - and tries everything it possibly can to convince me that i should be doing something else. anything else. something productive. something responsible. something fun. something crazy. anything.

i think it's the tiny little ticking clock inside my brain that reminds me, with every tock, that life is fleeting, short, and you gotta make the most of it. spending an entire weekend watching the real world seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4 all in a row on re-runs, for example, makes me feel almost physically ill. not that i didn't enjoy the time, not that i didn't want to, but because i could have been doing something else.

the problem with this problem, of course, is it's recursive cyclic nature because, of course, no matter what you might do you could always be doing something else and, well, that's where the problem starts, ends, and re-connects to itself.

whether or not you experience the same problem, i dunno, but certainly you should have been doing something else besides read this drivel. think of the lost opportunity. think of the kids, man. think of the kids.

rock.