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Michael considered fate at 15:47   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

I usually have generally good things to say about the fine country of canadia but today I'm on a roll. For one, canadian banks suck donkey cock like no other. They're worse than Rent-a-Center on crack. Pathetic money grubbing mongers is what they are. Their hands are dirty with the blood of the coin like a dog who doesn't know when to stop gorging itself.

In canadia, getting money out of an ATM owned by another bank will result in a $1.50 foreign atm charge, as is somewhat normal in the states. However, come statement time, there will also be another $1.50 charge from your OWN BANK for using someone else's atm. This is akin to double jeopardy, in my book. Do the crime, pay the fine.. but twice?! $3 for a twenty dollar bill sounds like usury to me.. for my own goddamned money! (By the way, for you non-math types, that's 15%).

15% here, 15% there.. soon it adds up to real mondey.

If banks had their way we'd all be taking money out of foreign atms all the time, just paying for their lunch hour cocktails, yah know? Ultimately, someone needs to pick up the bill. Guess who? Sure, why not? The consumer. Natasha would be rolling puurrrrfect if Boris ever had such an amazing idea.

Uncivilized barbarity #2: Cell phone service. Firstly, it's a travesty that 100 minutes is about all the daytime talk you can get for $30. Secondly, if you're a particularly small and piddly little cell phone company then you've never heard of american. In fact you aren't even sure there is any such thing as "credit" there, so when I sign up for a cell phone plan I am required to put $250 deposit down to allay their fears that I might jump the border and run if my bill gets too high. Don't worry grandma, I'm not calling China. Fast-forward six months later and find out that no, I can not have my $250 deposit back despite being told I could. Find out that, in fact, a requirment of the agreement was that I pay my bill on time every month for 6 months. Re-acquire intense hatred for cell phone companies, rejuvenate, rekindle, and realize that because there is no easy way to pay your bill online, because there is no blank envelope with your invoice, because you (I) absolutely hate paying bills that yes, I should just pay it all off right now. Done and done. Write out last starter check from opening a bank account in September. Wave hanky at sobbing Visa - it's not his fault - even though the company takes canadian visa, as if it is somehow better.

Ha.