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Michael considered fate at 05:11   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

So what's with teen actresses always having to do horror flicks before they get their street cred?

Okay, so not all of them do it, but there are enough examples out there to make me go hmmm. Neve Campbell, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Biel, Rose McGowan (who probably likes 'em anyway).. heck, even Wynona Ryder got a start in Beetlejuice and Heathers - not horror flicks, but not bubblegum either. And there there is little 'ol Christina Ricci who got going at the age of 11 or 12 in Casper - she was a kid, so she did a kid's horror flick. Sorta. Am I stretching? So sue me. Arguably, Natalie Portman was given a break for doing the gritty Professional. I dunno.

Anyhow, I bring this up because I saw a trailer for some silly town full of wax people, no no they're real, wait, are they? horror movie with Paris Hilton in it the other day.

I even feel like there are far more horror films out these days.. What is it, America? What do you want? How do you want it? Just tell me. I can read your mind like a fucking book with no cover anyway, so what's the point in hiding it? You sick sick beast.

Enter the movie formula: hot dame, in distress, saved by masculine hero. Used to be pretty simple. Somewhere along the line it started getting complicated with ugly sexual fantasies, heads cut off and shipped around in boxes by fed-ex, and ticking time-bomb predators.

Somewhere along the line women became objects and they're either still struggling to climb out of the tarpit they were thrown into or they're just sinking deeper and deeper. I don't know which. I'd like to think the direction we're in - temporally speaking - is a positive one.. that we're all climbing a bit farther out of the tarpit every day, but when I step outside it doesn't always look that way.

Here in America, I'm told, you get what you pay for.. and I think it's true. A sports car buys you balls and makeup buys you a thin disguise.. people love to run around and complain that corporations are forcing consumerism down our throats but I honestly gotta say: we're buying it. And heck, why not? It's the quick fix! We can afford it.

We're sorta like the fat kid on the block.. only mommy and daddy are rich so we can go out and buy some liposuction. Sweet, huh?

But under the pretty exterior there's a world of rot, and I don't know how long it's going to be before this house of cards comes fluttering down.

Oh, I sound scared, don't I? No.. I'm not really. I actually believe fully in the human drive. We'll be halfway to the other side of the galaxy by the time you can say kalamazoo, but it's not the future I'm scared of.. It's those people in the future. They'll be sitting around a thermal riser, a big black picture window into space behind them and ion drives humming away below, reading bedtime stories to their children and you know what horror stories they're going to be telling?

How utterly retarded their ancestors were. The holocaust of the human mind, they'll call it.

I know that nature doesn't have room for the bottom 10 percent, but does that mean the middle 80 have to be morons? Does that mean we can walk around like zombies, luxurizing ourselves into oblivion, debasing our very natural value as human beings for the imaginary wealth of money? Is this our destiny?

I know a girl who dresses to kill and stays up late telling me things like I know I'm good looking, so I use it to my advantage. She thinks she has the sheep figured out. She's the wolf in their clothing. But I can't help thinking it's a debaser. They the sheep, and she debasing herself to their level. A wolf! In sheeps clothing.

Integrity? Baahhh. It's lost in the mix.. in there somewhere, but being tossed around like a hot potatoe. It just doesn't pay to like yourself.

We're animals, in the end. I think we forget that sometimes. We're animals running scared, tearing at the raw flesh we kill because there is scarcity out there. There's a limit to the resources. We're hungry, tired, running.. And we'll knaw our leg off if we get caught in a trap. We'll fight teeth and nail for our piece of territory. We'll eat our own young...

.. and we'll even gorge ourselves when we have the opportunity.