Oh, duder you have no idea.
It's 5am and I don't have to tell you why I'm still up at this hour. Yah, women man.. do yourself a favour and stay the fuck away. I think I got myself one of those.. oh, what do you call 'em? Hilary? Was that her name? I think it was.. yah, I got one.. this long-tall-glass of water, drink, whathaveyou. Fuuuuuuuuuucking bitch. How do I find the words? It's unexplainable how shitty someone can make you feel without - most likely - knowing any damn thing about it.
knowhatimean?
I want to speak in full truths and mark down the answers of the universe and all that jazz but I've got no notes in me left. Not even a decent blues scale, my old standby. I'm lost. I think.. maybe, possibly, at some point tonight I knew it all. Saw the light. But I was too distracted to see it for what it was, yah?
..never made love by latern shine, knowhatimean? It's the age-old problem of seeing your steps before you take them. Blowing that latern out before I get a chance to see the light. I think. Anyhow, I think I need a good phone-talk. Not that it'll solve anything but it'll help me feel better about feeling shitty, I guess. This coming from me, moving back to Mont-fucking-real. And *I'm* complaining? Montreal? Like I have the first thing to be whining about. I sat outside this apartment tonight smoking cigarettes and watching the bums sleeping outside 'Labour Ready' - it's this place where you can show up for day work, pay at the end of the day. It's amazing there were even bums there at 3am, sleeping against the cement slabs trying to get a head start on their end of the line. And I'm fucking complaining about some 22 year old bimbo that couldn't tell the time of day if the watch wasn't paying attention to her her her her.
God I have bad taste in women. Bad taste. Try watching that movie sometime and it'll explain my situation in all it's gory details, only in a bad cheesy-horror metaphor. I'm done. stick a fork in me.
Oh yah, one last thing. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Stay the hell away from only children. They are F U C K fucked up.