and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

People have been running around being horrible to eachother for hundreds of thousands of years.. or, some form of "people" anyway. Why are we still confused about this condition that we seem so very good at maintaining? No doubt, each individual (or any "sane" one, within a reasonable definition of the word) at this point in our elustrious evolution, would state such ideologies as:

"killing other people is wrong"
"stealing isn't nice"
and "who hired this Jay Leno guy, anyway?"

Nevertheless, these same "sane" people will turn right around and demand such actions as "kill that pigfucker in iraq". Arguably, this makes sense because these people view that pigfucker as someone who has caused far more pain/suffering than he's worth. Sure. But it's this sort of selective moralism that quickly degenerates into the whatever is good for me mentality. If I can justify killing Sadam, then why can't I justify killing his aides? Even if they were "only following orders", they are still culpable, right? So from there the waterfall trickles and before you know it I am demanding President Bush's head on a platter because of his mismanagement of the hurricane Katrina debacle. Did he not cause major pain/suffering, even death? Was he not, in some way or another, very resonsible for the poor response? What about the FEMA fuckers? Can we kill them too? And while we're at it, my downstairs neighbour plays his TV at an ungodly volume.. can we kill him too?

This isn't a political post. In fact this blog is rarely political because, frankly, if you get it you get it. I don't feel as though I'm going to be changing anyone's mind anytime soon. If you think otherwise, if you've changed your mind about something because of what I have written in the past (of a political nature) then please let me know, maybe I'll amend this little publication's charter. At the moment, however, we are working within a tiny confine: all the hope that can be placed on a small square of cheap cardboard.. which, if you hadn't noticed from most of the posts around here, it ain't much. The hope that is.

So this insufferable morality we have, what do we do with it? It's a mangled mess of machinery, for certain, like something pulled from the scrap heap.. not exactly broken but certainly twisted. If it were in some post-apocalyptic movie, it would be modified, put into service in all it's half-functioning glory as a desalination plant instead; all these people huffing and puffing about right and wrong, exhaling venomous posions of the mind but, also, water vapour.

In there somewhere, within the depths of the thing, there is worthwhile policy.. maybe? Sadly, what might be useful group-policy is covered over by stronger thoughts of individual survival. The leader is morally grand on the podium yet, at ground zero, ultimately interested in self-sustainment like everyone else. And truly, how else could such a system as evolution work otherwise? Surely, a weak individual could sacrafice towards the greater good, the community, but alas I do not think the system has become so smart. Perhaps the very beauty of it lies in the simplicity of the thing. Dumb theory.

Dumb theory is a great work of art, to be sure. Ants and termites shuffling around no more aware of the bigger whole than a grain of sand is aware of the earth yet following simple rules at the point (which is to say, rules that govern their actions right then, at the point of where they are) their individual actions can combine to yeild huge functioning colonies. Colonies capable of devouring hundreds of pounds of foliage, capable of expanding and building, capable of war.

In the small scheme of things we are very smart ants, in the large scheme of things very small dumb things. We act according to our current point. We act individually to save ourselves, further our own goals, advance our own position, and it is a mode ultimately unaware of self-sacrafice other than to protect our kin (arguably a mode of protecting oneself).

So our famous morality which we tout so loudly, our compassion for eachother.. this is good? This is honourable? No, it is ultimately the result of comfort. Only in a safe position can thoughts for others truly manifest in a powerful enough manner to effect change. I, myself, am uncomfortable with killing an animal but it is a very very easy feeling to have given my position - being able to march down to the supermarket to purchase a lump of meat so far removed from a dead animal as to be almost indistinguishable, packaged in styrofoam and wrapped in clear plastic.

I'm not perfect. Or good, completely. I too am prone to actions of self-sustainment. I have been known to lower my moral position in order to raise another position, whether that be social, financial, or physical. I am not perfect. But neither is anybody else. The question is how powerful this morality is. We have it for a reason, it is a part of this system that we are built into.. are we different as a species now for our morality? Different enough to be special? Gosh, we really love ourselves don't we?

I had a big long discussion with a friend recently about socialism, his view that the free market has failed us, and our responsibilities to ourselves to think ahead. He talked of the need to institute policy and to police our corporations and countries. I think, ultimately, we were talking about morality, even if the verbal topics were supply, demand, pollution, and war. We were talking about that which we think makes us separate from the rest of nature; conciousness, self-awareness, morality. He wanted, badly, to think that the greater good - the mass of morally convicted people - could enforce rules and regulations for the greater good. He wants to believe that corruption can be overcome, I think, whether that's how he verbalizes it or not.

But the fact of the matter is, down at ground zero, we just can't handle it. We're too busy being shitty to eachother. Ignoring eachother. Making fun of one another. Socially bullying, jockeying for position. Stealing money from one another. Climbing up the slippery slope towards "financial success" - too often then not a funny expression for 'unhappy and friendless'. A ferrari can't give you a hug.

All of this is a big fuzzy abstraction of the things I'm thinking about lately - so abstracted that you won't be able to figure out what I'm really talking about. This is a good thing because I've been biting my tongue so hard it bleeds these days, trying not to type out anything about this because it's nothing more than whine; complete and under whine. Pathetic, obnoxious, why-can't-the-world-be-right whine. It makes me sick to even think about the weakness in that, and so you get this.. the hard truth, logic laid bare, all the morality wiped away from it so the cold underbelly is clearly visible. My sorrow wrapped up in logical truths like a pig in a blanket because, even though a hot dog can be fake meat, at least the pancakes won't lie to me.