Truth is I've not the time nor energy for straight up post-every-day-like-it's-my-job blogging so this sorta spotty coverage is going to have to do. The time thing, well, that's due to working and schooling and, well, drinking too but the energy, that's more of the problem. I just don't have the energy to be all out balls-to-the-wall everyday in and out through and through like, maybe, I was at one point. Most likely I never was - they were just fleeting moments of fancy floating on the wind like a bad misha barton scene. Or something.
Or something. Somewhere in all those words flowing out underneath this post and out into the archives and back months and months and now years upon years ( I can say that now, 2 + 2 does equal 4, and 5 is about to be one more ) it seems like it's probably all been said by now. Not it all
in the grander scheme but just it all
for me, here, at the place and time where I currently find myself. It's like I've said what I had to say, spoke a little longer than I wanted to, spilled one too many bad jokes, and now it's done. I'm sitting at the laundromat watching my clothes on the spin-cycle, I've commented to the girl next to me about the moron VP playing on the dirty idiot box in the corner, I've made my peace with the old man at the door asking for change and I've gotten what I need from the counter person - a fifty cent box of Tide and one dryer sheet please.
What I had to say is said. Or at least what I'm able to say. The real struggle, and the reason I come back over and over again, is so that I attempt to say the things I wasn't previously able to. In this, I think, is a character growth. That is, if you are actually able to eek out one or two new things each time.
If you stare long enough into a mirror you will see something new. The ultimate question is what?