20060705   

Michael considered fate at 15:08   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

Ten things to do when you're that bored with sleeping.

1. Sleep backwards on your bed - feet at the headboard, head at the baseboard.


2. Cover your feet and head with blankets, sleep with your torso exposed.


3. Use your bed as a kitchen table - newspapers, books, cereal bowls, whatever, but no dirty clothes - sleep instead for a week on the floor with nothing but a towel.


4. Cover your ceiling with glow-in-the-dark star stickers in proper astrological patterns, but make up your own constellations. Point them out to people when you're outside at night. Insist they are real.


5. Make a blanket out of cellophane and blinking christmas tree lights.


6. Hang your bed from the ceiling and attach a motor which slowly rotates the entire frame 360 degrees per hour.


7. Place a pea between mattress and box spring. If you're a real neanderthal, try a big 'ol kidney bean.


8. Set your alarm for the middle of the night, wake up, and furiously masterbate yourself into a sweaty stupor.


9. Listen to old Nintendo music at the lowest volume possible all night long. Try to explain your dreams to your mom.


10. Close your eyes and pretend you're sleeping on the observation deck of the Washington Monument.