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Michael considered fate at 18:09   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment

Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies are amazing. Absolutlely amazing. As are mushrooms.
A disclaimer: BritishCoal has been accused of wizardry before. 
What's truly evil is that brief moment in time (dangerously on the brink of lingering like the smell of a carton of bad milk) when you consider yourself possibly too old to buy a box of popsicles. I know, I know, I don't like branding either but everyone knows that popsicle means something frozen on a stick in a truly vernacular sense - it's no longer associated by anyone I know with the owner of the trademark Unilever, but 'nuff said.

At some point it seems reasonable that you might consider cutting out a lot of those little child-ammenities that you so appreciated during your younger life: Pez, Twinkies (which, by the way, I was never really privy to as a child and have thus avoided them like the plague.. but Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies? That's a whole other can of worms).. etc, etc, etc.

At some point, however, it's necessary to pull oneself aside, look straight into one's own eyes, and say listen jerk, it's fucking hot out. If that doesn't convince you that a box of popsicles is absolutely acceptable for an adult, in fact if that doesn't convince you that a box of popsicles is absolutely necessary, then it's time to visit the booby hatch and tell them you're checking in for a nice long stay.

Me, I just myself some popsicles. It took me close to a month and a half to actually get around to it but then I can barely remember to feed myself let alone go shopping. Nevertheless, frozen sugar water never tasted so fine. In fact it's been a truly mystic experience..

Which brings me to a new point all together.

Researchers from John Hopkin's reported recently that well over half of volunteers in a drug study reported having a "full mystical experience" when given active ingredients of psychedlic mushrooms. No shit, sherlock:
"Many of the volunteers in our study reported, in one way or another, a direct, personal experience of the "beyond," said Roland Griffiths, a professor of Neuroscience and Psychiatry and Behavioral Biology at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore who led the study.

A third said the experience was the single most spiritually significant of their lifetimes. Many likened it to the birth of their first child or the death of a parent.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Has it ever occurred to anyone that mystical means: having an import not apparent to the senses nor obvious to the intelligence; beyond ordinary understanding. What do you expect to happen when you give a bunch of mind-altering drugs to people who have never done them? Exactly..

I suppose there are studies for a reason - so that we can prove the obvious.. So where's proof that popsicles make me happy in the hot summer heat? Huh?


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