and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

The A-to-Z of ways to make it as a stay-at-home telecommuter:

a) set a routine, allot certain times for internet surfing (like 9am to 9pm) and stick to it.
b) NEVER do work or anything else in bed other than sleep and sex. In fact if you can, don't work in your bedroom at all.
c) If you can, work in your dishwasher or clothes dryer - these are already the highest productivity areas of the house, are they not?
d) Complain about your commute to work and the need to save money. This way you can get your wife to come home and make you lunch, saving you more time to surf -er, I mean work.
e) Never start work until you've warmed your brain up with 150 to 200 soduku puzzles and one round of the second Zelda quest (using maps is cheating).
f) Check the weather every five minutes. Since you will never be leaving your apartment again, this is important information that you need to know.
g) Stay up late the night before to get an early jump on the day ahead. This should include catching up on news bits (gotta be able to chat with that looker who is always getting coffee by the toaster oven) and also watching Law and Order reruns that you have seen ten times before - you never know when that teeny sliver of corporate law that snuck into the episode will come in handy when negotiating a larger office with, um.. yourself.
h) Find yourself a solid Pentium machine. MMX if you can. These will run Windows 3.1 quite nicely and will help you be productive. Remember to use the "Hot Dog Stand" desktop theme as the high-contrast will ease eye strain over the day.
i) The more work you can do on the couch, floor, or under the kitchen table, the better. Practicing those odd angles, preztel postures, and kinked necks will help you fight repetitive stress injuris and other workplace hazards.
j) Sue yourself for not meeting OSHA standards. Might as well make a buck where yah can.
k) Work while you wash. This can including bringing your laptop, cellphone, pda, ipod, and electric nose-hair trimmer into the bath with you. The more electronics you have near water, the more productive you are.
l) Breath through one nostril at a time. Trust me.
m) End each day with a status meeting. This should include going over all work items and processing each as if they were their own meeting. If you feel you did not have a particularly productive day go ahead and have a meeting about that, too. Since it is the end of the day and we're all winding down anyway, feel free to have a beer. Or many.
n) Invite the mailman in for a peek at your operation. You'd be surprised how often an outside consultant can really point out the kinks in your business processes. Expense your lunch together at the strip club.
o) To be on time each day be sure to order a car or taxi service the night before.
p) If you need to leave for a dentist appointment or to pick up your car from the mechanic, just let yourself know. You can be very accomodating. Just don't let it happen to often.
q) Steal office supplies, you never know when that shit might come in handy at home.
r) When it is your birthday, be sure to purchase yourself a card and sign it. Don't forget to give it to yourself by the end of the day. Nobody likes to feel left out.
s) If you're feeling sick, by all means, go into the REAL office. Nobody wants yarfy all over your new rug.
t) Don't steal other people's lunches out of the fridge. This will just cause bad office mojo.
u) If you need help with something try paging yourself over the intercom. If that fails, leave yourself a voicemail.
v) Play flash games on the internet. The fast response times will help you become a better typist, making you more efficient.
w) If you feel you've set a unbearable deadline for yourself, consider sitting down face to face and calmly discussing the issues at hand. You'd be surprised how empathetic and caring you can be to yourself (A mirror comes in handy here).
x) X is for Xylophone!
y) What's Happening?.. Um, you're gonna have to go ahead and have yourself come in on Saturday, Mmmkay? So if you could be here around nine, that'd be great.
z) If you're feeling unproductive try making a list of positive things you could do to help make your at-home worklife more effective.