and she said.. "how you interpret the dream is probably more important than the dream itself"

I've been doing this for a verra, verra long time. I think. Five years, while nothing in the terms of certain things (glacial movement, the lifecycles of stars, and the time it will take to recover from Bush) is still nevertheless a big chunk of time to (some of) us humans. Especially ones who have only lived a few decades. Very soon I will have six chunks of 5-year blocks under my belt. To be fair, the first five are basically lost along with my ever-dwindling supply of neurons. The second five are so vague they make up about as much as a bad infomercial I watched a few years ago while half-in-the-bag at 3am. Ten to fifteen certainly had some quality moments in there but aren't exactly crystal clear. That leaves basically three five-year chunks left, one of which I have spent blogging.

I'm not sure what the purpose is and I don't know who I'm doing it for (minus one particular someone but I'm probably doing that for all the wrong reaons). In the end it's all excercise anyway.. but on rare occassion I click around in the archives and I actually get a few chuckles out of myself.

The ultimate question way down the road is where it brings me, and who is waiting when I get there. I'm pretty sure that a majority of blogging is done with no notion of the future. It would seem, in fact, that humans in general have an extreme inability to think about, reason about, or even acknowledge, the future.

I try, but Yoda would have hated me - I don't do much. All of my thinking takes place in bouts of inaction - driving in the car, sitting at work, laying sleepless in bed at 4 in the morning. It's always in places or situations where I am not in a position to actually do anything. So thinking about the future, reasoning about it, and planning goes out the window with a poof of smoke and by the time I'm anywhere to do anything I just don't care anymore.

This is the curse of an active mind, I guess. You just can't choose to shut it off when it wants to go, go, go. Drugs are but temporary stop-gaps. Talk is cheap. Effort only works well in large doses. I have such little patience with everything and far too much thought about all of it that I am unable to create my own action. Stuck spinning my wheels, flinging mud all over the place but going nowhere. Perhaps this is why I choose to let it dribble out onto the web, why I collect statistics and post discussion and I know it probably means nothing, does nothing, effects nothing, but there is a little part of me that hopes maybe it will cause or create action in others. Or maybe just some extra thought. Even that I'd be okay with.