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        20061222   

Michael considered fate at 12:34   |   Permalink   |   Post a Comment
This week a member of the Portland school board got hisself drunk and ran away from a cabbie without paying his bill. He was 24. After getting thrown in the clank - the police found him hiding behind a fence or under a porch or something - he apologized the next day admitting he "had a drinking problem".

In his mugshot he looked a bit beaten up. Musta been a rough night. He has since resigned from the school board.

What I don't understand is the inability to either a) get shitfaced and live to tell about it by going about your shitfaced life as you would your non-shitfaced life: by paying your shitfaced bills and not acting like a complete douchebag shitface or b) NOT obtain a public position such as a member of the school board in which acting like a shitfaced douchebag is generally frowned upon.

I can pretty much guarantee he does indeed have a drinking problem, and it's this: he can't seem to handle is liquor. In fact there are probably quite a few Portland High students who could teach him a thing or two.

Personally, when I'm being a shitfaced douchebag I take it outside. If I need to blow some shitfaced douchebag chunks, I do it in the alley, or the toilet, or my shoes. If I need to act like a shitface then I do it to my friends who will either ignore me or put up with it - NOT to the people who are providing me a service like driving my shitfaced douchebag of a person around, or serving my shitface a beer.

I'm no saint, that should be clear. I've had occasion to fall down a set of stairs, run into a curb, and loose a few hours of an evening under alcoholic duress. Regardless, if it happens and I'm a shitfaced douchebag to you I won't be calling you up the next day to blame it on my "drinking problem." I won't try and externalize my douchebaggage as something I can blame on anything else (such as society, drugs, little green people on the moon, or my mom's talking cat). I'll just say I'm a straight up shitfaced douchebag and leave it at that.

Integrity doesn't mean never having to say your sorry. It means having to say I'm sorry I'm a shitfaced douchebag sometimes.

Cost of avoiding the entire incident? Paying the damn cabby $4.65.. which is pretty damn cheap as cabs go.


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