20030131 
Dropped in a Maine blog list there on the left.. Figured one should represent, yah know? So I bummed around for a few minutes with google looking for dudes from Maine who dig the keyboard and produce the shit and well.. to be quite honest.. most of the google search results have phrases like "..going to Maine in a few weeks.." and "..just got back from Maine .. " and ".. a great time during our vacation in Maine" and ".. trip to Maine.." Are you seeing a trend here? I even found a dude who said something to the effect of "There are two kinds of people in maine: those trying to get out and those (from away) who don't know any bettah". Hogwash. Go fly yourself a kite. Not in my house yah don't. This hear State oh mine ain't none of your goddamn business if you got nothing good to say. Go take a long walk off a short pier. This he'ah is whicked goo'ud country, ayuh. Whe-ah the men ah strong, the women ain' too good look'an, and all the kids ain' 'bove average so take yer goddamn standahdized tests and shove it.
Flax OilDay 1Bouyea-Fassett Whole Wheat bread, honey, and peanut butter
January 30th, 2003 Day 1
I applied a layer of oil to a piece of whole wheat bread, covered it in peanut butter and a layer of clover honey, and downed it. Sleep deprivation continues - may cause experiment contamination.
subject's notes: The oil soaked through the bread a bit and I was treated to my first real taste of the oil.. odd.. but okay. Girls called. Girls invited. Boy went out. Very tired boy, once again, did not fill my cup 'o sleep.
Another chapter in the history of commercial parodies.. Well at least this one is actually funny? Switch to Linux
Am I the only one who still uses two spaces after a period? Huh? Am I? Doesn't anyone remember Bank Street Writer?
20030130
I beseech you now to listen: The human condition of the adult American male is to flail around in a room crowded with alligators in the dark, with three bullhorns blaring in his ear and a pile of stinging nettles in his pants. One is required to behave like an idiot almost every waking minute, and even if all seems secure, for every guy there is something-- a drug, a woman, a low-draft fishing boat--that can make him rise up and abandon his sleeping babies in the middle of the night to prowl the angry streets. Like any hopeless addict, you pray that this will never happen. But then, of course, it always does.
From the L.A. Times today - Two Wheels, One Life
By Paul Gordon
That crazy Andrew Ranks. Who'da thunk it? Off playing in the U.S. Nationals 2002 - 3/4-Place Playoff. I don't think he made it much further.. but jeez.. really making 'ol Gardiner, ME proud, huh?
Play M.A.S.H.
You will live in Apartment.
You will drive a Green Porsche 911.
You will marry Natalie and have 0 kids.
You will be a Professor on the West Coast.
Well.. I guess things could be a lot worse. After having been informed by www.playmash.com of my imminent fate I have sold off my TV, furniture, and barbie doll collection. I have contacted a number of colleges for a list of job openings and, having failed miserably to instill a sense of qualification in their minds as to my professional character, I have also contacted the school of hard knocks and offered my services at a greatly reduced rate. Luckily, we nabbed 'Green' for a car color, which I will loosely interpret as "English Racing Green" - hurrah for us. Unfortunately, however, it appears as though Natalie is barren (for I am certainly not shooting blanks) and has not given me the promise of an heir. Phooey.
I guess I have to start liking the West Coast. *Sigh*
20030129
Flax OilDay 0Mama Rosie's Cheese Ravioli w/ Mushroom and Onion Hannaford Sauce
After a number of discussions with a one Sam Funk Beast toting Sewall and another Alexander Sauceman Schwartz on or about the week of December 29th, 2002 in regards to the positive effects of Flax Seed Oil on one's general disposition and health I have decided to give it a go. Flax Seed Oil was procurred on this, the 29th day of January, 2003 and the oil-richened diet regimen has been instated. I'll try anything once, twice if it feels good.
Let it be known that in this month of January on Wednesday the 29th in the year 2003 I have started my Flax Oil regimen.
January 29th, 2003 Day 0 (so we will call it, as it is the first day of Oil consumption - late in the evening)
I poured a tablespoon or so of the oil over some mama rosie's ravioli and sauce and enjoyed. The level of sleep deprivation of late, however, has been particularly high so we may not be able to measure the positive effects right away. The evening of the 29th and the early morn of the 30th were spent playing monopoly and only ~3hrs of sleep were procurred.
subject's notes: I was lucky enough to be presented with a number of cute little hippy girls while purchasing the Flax Oil from the Whole Grocers on Marginal Way - looks like the oil is working already and I haven't even ate any yet. When I finally did, I ate in silence, staring at the oil mixing with the sauce. I waited for a hint of flavour. Nothing. Little sleep last night and little likely tonight so that may effect the experiment. Looking forward to Day 1.
If you're familiar with Operating Systems at all you'll likely find this pretty funny - another which one are you quizes - this time it's Which OS are you?.. But where is the BeOS?
I will go downtown today and look at an overpriced INTOWN, Lg. Studio W/Sleeping Loft, incls. prkg/Utilities. And by overpriced, you have no idea.
I will entertain the thought of being a 20-something - of spending money like it's water and running a credit card debt and thinking it's normal.
I will become art deco in my Lg. Studio w/Sleeping Loft. I will throw up colors like your crazy aunt in a junior high art class. I will have ugly plastic-molded chairs - but really art deco ugly plastic-molded chairs - in orange.
I will quit my job and do free-lance writing for fringe publications and elicit financial help from my parents and call myself independant and alive! I will drink Starbucks coffee at $3 a cup.
I will pretend.
20030128
Maintaining the Status Quo here...
What's up fellow webnauts? Fellow webizens... A short list of do's and do not's for your reading pleasure.
Don't let Alex get under your skin.. cause when you do he has won!
Do quote old email text in your reponses.. cause it's just more helpful. I don't care if it's lacking in etiquette.
Don't live with others unless you are prepared to have issues over dirty dishes.
Do invest in the stock market. All this whining and crying is a bunch of bullshit and you all have a chance to be dirty filthy rich someday.
Don't spend lavishly on a spinster or a miser - they won't know how to appreciate it anyway.
Do spend time looking at that dead bug on the windsill before you toss it. It has something to tell you.
Don't throw lightening from your finger tips when your co-workers irritate you. It's apt to cause a fire and you'll be liable.
Do spend an excessive amount of time on something. Otherwise, what's the point?
Don't get so goddamn worked up already, it's old and tired.
Do give a shit, but make sure it's in a toilet or a republican's eye.
Don't dis the Boss
Do superglue a pile of feathers to your ex's rearview mirrors. That's just funny. Get pictures.
Don't really take it too seriously, though, it's old and tired.
Do express yourself.
Don't express yourself until you've impressed yourself (not that it takes much)
That's all for now folks.
20030127
> girls suck
I said
Yes, they do,
She said, continuing...
I am very aware of the fact that women are for the most part empty models of their mothers, incapable of constructing original thought and if they are capable then they are way over the top about it, like they should get some sort of award for it....oops... shouldn't be slamming my own sex...but you don't know the twits I have to deal with here.....
I'm a cheap bastard but maybe you aren't? Go toss Tony a bone. Help him buy a car. Heck, it's only $10... and $10 of good advertising, really, right on his site..
Another thing. I just read some very old comments. It was great fun cause, for one, I didn't know I had any. For another, there was some girl in there bitching about me downing on her site for being bland, or boring.. or whatever it was. I just think that's funny. It cracks me up. With this whole blogging thing, you know, you're supposed to cross-post and reference and soft link and.. permalink? Yah. Oh my, I'm giddy already. Maybe I need to dive into this whole blogging culture. Really participate, you know? I always had a problem managing that in real life.. maybe I can make it in a pseudo-online fake community?
Heh. Maybe not.
Unless I am so much mistaken,
All the good rhymes have been taken.
But I will express,
Nonetheless
Why my poor brain now is achin'.
I sit at computer and write
Composing long into the night.
My intellect dumb,
My senses gone numb
As for sanity (meekly) I fight.
So excuse my most atrophied wit
For hard have I chomped at the bit.
And when I touch
The keyboard this much
I feel that my brains turn to shit.
Voila.
alex
20030125
If my pictures load assy slow, tell me and I'll fix it.
Pick Your Poison
ceffeine  alcohol
easy choice, huh?
Everyone everywhere is a spokesperson for something. That girl behind the counter at Starbucks is a spokeswoman for Tool, apparently, and half the buggers in there look like they're getting checks in the mail from Abercrombie for ad space. It seems like the really interesting things we hear are always being told by spokespeople, too. Actors have spokespeople. Civil Rights groups and feminists and Greenpeace have spokespeople. Who doesn't need one? They assert, rebuff, lay blame, and fend off hecklers in the audience. Without spokespeople, for example, we would never know about stuff.. For example:
Elena Guscha, a spokeswoman for the female sector of the unregistered organization for protection of gays’ rights in Belarus, advised that there would be an international conference of sexual minorities held in the city of Minsk (the republic of Belarus) on March 8 and 9
I tell yah, it's a need. You need to go out and get yourself a spokesperson. Become a spokesperson yourself for someone more needy. Help the chain-chain-chain, chain of ...love? or was it fools? I forget. It's not really important.
20030124
I think feminism is great.. it's just that feminists have given it a bad name.
I went about 50 doors down the rabbit hole, how about you?
20030123
Would it be better to have posts in chronological order per day? That way you would read earlier ones first.. like a journal. As it is now you just see the most recent first. I can't decide what I prefer. Please let me know? Thanks. Pals.
01/24/2003 10:14 AM Update: Look... Pals... Buddies. The little 'C!' there? That's the comment link. When you click it, a window pops up. It's kind of like all these other websites out there that I know you are using. I know you people are familiar with the world wide web and links and how they work and that you shouldn't double-click them like my dad always tries to do but I digress. Click the link. Once. Enter a comment. You don't even need to enter your email or anything. Make up a really good name instead. I use 'g.u.n.g.e' cause I try to be cool a lot, even though I am not. If necessity is the mother of invention than motivation is.. uhh... motivation is the mother of things getting done. yah. So get off your ass already and leave a comment that addresses your deepest darkest desires with respect to this wedsite and it's chronological order. You like order, doncha? You're not one of those crazy anarchists, are yah? You're not dropping cigarette buts in my coffee when I'm not looking are yah? You cheeky monkey. I saw that. I saw that. Are you lookin at me website?
Sometimes... occasionally... Friday's *do* suck.
I am trying very hard to make up for lost time. 4.3 billion years of lost time. Or is it 7,000? Well, depends on what crackpot you ask I suppose but what I really mean is I've neglected my audience (yes, you.. the only one that comes here. You know who you are). I will, unfortunately, neglect you again. This is life and the way it rolls and bounces down that slippery slope of time. But for the time being I am back. Rejoice. Amen.
I met a girl last night. She was nice, funny, quirky, and had a nice smile. She wore flared blue jeans with the inside-out seams and a blue hoody. She looked like a comic book heroine with all her spunk and attitude and dark red hair - the kind without any super powers that manages to win anyhow. She laughed with the natural ease of a person as yet unworn by the years of an adult; with her head down like she couldn't control herself. She chewed on her pen and mis-counted letters in the crossword - taking the razzing lightly. She learned to Wax Philosophical. She didn't think we should go to war because innocent people would suffer and she didn't eat red meat.
Oi vey, the heart beateth a sullen tune
A melody unknown to any a rune
So quiet yet quick in it's darkest place
So forlorn and soft it's hard to face
Soooooooo preeetty.
I am a lucky boy. I will try and make full use of this machine as my artistic platform. Excuse me if that includes some coding as I think there is some art in that as well. Just one humble farmer's opinion.
Did you know! There is a very usable Speech Recognition system built into Mac OS X which allows task switching, application loading, file saving/loading, and various other things through simple spoken commands.
"Computer, Open Internet Explorer"
You can also give your computer a name with which it will recognize the start of a command. I resisted the attempt to name it Hal and went with Riley for an Alien reference. Plus, we all know that McGill Riley was a cutie.
Riley, What time is it?
It's 11:39 AM
Thank you, Riley
*grin*
I have been commissioned. I am not sure I have ever been commissioned before, so yippee for me. It's a short story. Flat rate. I couldn't swing charge-by-the-word rate but I guess I gotta prove myself first. The commission, like many, has stipulations:
1) The main character must be a female
2) The main character has a fully-functional sixth finger on her left hand
3) The main character is Irish
4) The main character's father is dead
For all of you who don't want to pay by the word you can check out my writing page. Not much there but hell, you can get something for free.
assuage your investment need
Ha. I like that. I don't believe investment need (in my case) can be assuaged. It's like the bottomless pit, the hollow leg, the endless mile. The 5 will help, of course... help the obsession grow grow GROW. But all told it is a drop in the bucket. We must continue to save save SAVE. 'Nuff said.
Alex, obsessive behaviour breeds Jacks - Jacks of all trades, Masters of none. Not such a horrible thing... You will just never be famous.
Nothin, huh? oh well. The whole idea of killing time is pretty interesting to me . . . Because it's more like time is killing you than anything else. That's some funny shit about ways to die; did you write that? Writing a lecture about language. Been here for a fucking long time. I slept through my classes today. I have poison oak. Didn't get to bed until real late. Poison oak - sucks. The funny thing is that I was hiking like two weeks ago . . . What the fuck is it doing soiling my poor epidermis now? That frogger game is the assiest game I have ever played. I really can't imagine how long those people must have played that analicious video game to get those high scores.
I'm fucking behind in school. Everything I was typing got erased just now, and it didn't even bother me. I just wrote it again. I remember every last fucking thing I said. What now, computer. Anwyay, like I was saying, I'm fucking behind in school, because I slept through the whole day. But really, that's just a symptom. The major problem is piano. I am playing like two fucking hours a day. What the fuck!? I don't have time for that . . . But I am learning to play new orleans boogie. Dr. John and professor longhair style. It seems to me that I am a completely obsessive personality. All I really want to do all day is play piano, just as last year it was frisbee. Damn. Where has the motivation for frisbee gone? I sure don't know, but I haven't really picked up a disc in weeks. Obsessions that just replace each other. In the food domain, I am setting myself up for a seitan obsession.
Hope that frost becomes an umpire. That would be cool. Fuck. I have two homeworks in Statistics that are now late. The worst thing is that my roommate handed them all in on the last day of class last quarter, and wasn't penalized. Now I have no fear, except that one does homework for a reason . . .
We are talking in my theory of mind class about how there is no such thing as mind, or consciousness. There is no such thing as ' to understand.' The analogy between the human brain and a computer is not so much of an analogy as an explanation. AI is not a thing of science fiction for long, says I. You are in the right field, except your 5 K a year will make it all the harder more you to return to school now. Or maybe not. Maybe it will decrease the time that you need to reach whatever principle level you have set to assuage your investment need. later
20030121
I got shit yo. Nada.
As evidenced by the complete lack of updates.
I'll see what I can do
20030110
Sorta disturbing to see obits in the classifieds
20030108
Canada is such a rockin' place that even on the ice, even the scrappers, they're HOT
20030107
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the guys: philogynist jaime tony - the gals:raymi raspil
